"Finale part 2" - Project Runway Recap

It's finally here!  Last night's Project Runway saw the four finalists achieving their dreams and showing at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week - now in the Lincoln Center?  Silly me, I kept referring to the tents of Bryant Park all this time!  I'm so behind - not only am I not up on fashion, but I'm not even up-to-date with where Fashion Week is.  Embarrassing!

Truly, the only contestant who seemed even remotely prepared last night was Viktor, who had his collection almost completely in place, to the point where he was basically just nitpicking design details and making editing choices.  (Meanwhile, Anya was still constructing entire garments.)  The sense of incompletion must have been apparent to either Tim Gunn or PR's producers, who gave each designer $500 and one last trip to Mood to get anything they needed.  

Really, Anya was the one who benefited the most from this gesture, and I'm sure Anya haters (and Josh McKinley) are quick to point fingers at some sort of favoritism and lenience with the crisis she's had the past two weeks.   And I confess, it is odd to see a Project Runway finale wherein the Powers That Be give them more money and resources at the last minute without any 11th look strings attached. 

But even though Anya needed it most, all four designers gained from the extra shopping trip, and, in Kimberly's eyes, it ended up evening the playing field.  She set about fixing her bubble skirt - by doing it in black instead of hot pink, and trying to tie up all the loose ends on her garments.  Viktor wanted a cleaner look on his ethereal gown, and chose to construct something entirely new with a sheer animal print.  Josh McKinley ran around like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to do too many things at once - including a redo of his catsuit.  After making a pair of lace-up neon green shorts (well, sure) Josh broke down and cried from exhaustion, and Anya was there to both comfort him and identify with him.  Because homegirl had entire new garments to make - but this time she was relying on instinct, and had some divine black and white patterns picked out... if only she had time to construct!

Indeed, Anya was in a pickle this week, and once she got over her identity crisis, she seemed to embrace two ideologies: she was doing everything she could to get her shit together, but she was also preparing herself for the shoe to drop, because she was having to get her shit together at the eleventh hour.  How heartbreaking was that speech to Tim?  It ain't over til it's over, Anya!  Drape zebra prints like the wind; you can do this!  Whip out that crazy magic!

Time marched on, though, dragging all four contestants along, and before they knew it, it was time to head to the tents of Bryant Park Lincoln Center!  Cue my favorite moments in every Project Runway finale: that moment at 5:00 in the morning, when the designers have done everything they could, collections completed, with the calm before the insanity that is backstage at a runway show.  They're just so precious, walking together in the dark streets of New York City, all bouncy and grinning and disbelieving!  And it's here where I usually get struck with a sense of what Kimberly voiced later in the finale: they're all winners.  They all made it this far, they all get to show off their creativity at Fashion Week - what more can you want?  Their dream is rarely winning Project Runway, it's to show at Fashion Week; and all four designers accomplished their dreams last night.  Group hug!

But, someone still has to win, so let's talk about the collections, shall we?  I don't know if I could pick a favorite, personally.  There were a lot of things I liked about each one, and it seemed as well that the judges didn't have a clear favorite or frontrunner, either.

VIKTOR

It seemed like Viktor would be the clear frontrunner, just based on his construction skills, and the fact that he had a complete collection before anyone else did.  His inspiration was marrying Mexico and New York City - the beach girl, and the city girl.  I'm not sure that synthesis was strong in all pieces; Heidi pointed out it looked like two collections: the sheer black pieces, and the pieces that used Viktor's own designed fabric.  In general, I'd agree.  The only outfit that seemed to synthesize both ideas was the one that had the sheer top with the mirrors, matched with the pants in that print.  Nina Garcia hit the nail on the head when she said that using the print and chiffon together seemed like a missed opportunity.  Maybe Viktor could have had the first three more city girl, the next four the synthesis, and the last three more beach girl, like an evolution.

It's undeniable that Viktor had some amazing individual pieces, though.  That white leather jacket continued to impress, and stood out even more paired with simple black leggings and a black top.  The blue mini-dress was one of my favorites, and Nina and Co. loved the other little dress, with the severe sleeves.  There honestly was a bit too much black for my taste (why is it designers always seem to rely on this for their collections?) but it didn't feel drab - just dark, with all the leather and the sheer.  The judges didn't love the sheer, though, and it seemed like Viktor came up short in terms of concept and cohesion, no matter his stellar construction.

KIMBERLY

Sometimes I actually think Kimberly's collection was my favorite.  Everything was wearable, but still upscale and interesting.  The color palette gelled much better than it did before, but still had variety to it.  It was definitely urbanwear, but it wasn't inaccessible - it took basic ideas and made them interesting.  Indeed, Kimberly described it as urban meets fashion-forward glamor, and I think she made that work.  The judges commended her on the fact that she listened to their critique and channeled it correctly, which is something I've loved about Kimberly all along.  Kimberly can course-correct without self-destructing!

My favorite piece was the all-ivory piece (worn by ANTM's Teyona - did anyone else notice?) and I agree with Heidi that I would have loved to see a bit more of that aesthetic in the collection as a whole.  I love the idea that Kimberly can merge urban girl and working girl, with her chic and polished secretary-esque looks, and I wanted to see a bit more of that, truthfully.  Also, some of the pieces were perhaps too quiet in their presentation - Michael Kors flirted with this idea by saying they were great clothes, but maybe not a great collection.  I don't know if I necessarily agree with that, because I quite like the collection as a whole, but certain pieces it took me a few moments to really appreciate the design work.  Nothing took my breath away when it rounded the corner, but a lot of the pieces I really liked once I took a closer look at them.

JOSHUA

On an intellectual level, I can really appreciate Joshua's collection.  I think he managed to synthesize his two ideas more convincingly than Viktor and Kimberly - his tailoring meets draping effect really worked, and came together beautifully.  And some of the quieter pieces, I would definitely wear!  The little black dresses and the tank tops, and the skirt he paired with the neoprene top?  I dig!  Even disregarding the difference in our tastes, it was clear that Joshua put forth a show that was signature to him without alienating his audience.  While I'm not sure if I agree with Michael Kors that he made neoprene and plastic desirable to all women, I do think he used them tastefully and interestingly.  And Nina was right - those neon green corset shorts actually did photograph well!  Consider me impressed with the editorial level that Josh pulled off.

But I didn't love that fabric he chose (you know the one) - I just don't really grasp how the fleur-de-lys is a design symbol you want to use, except on the bedazzled t-shirts with Paris cityscapes in sepia that they sell for middle-aged women.  (Ouch.)  But his styling was flawless and uniform, and really supported his clothes.  In the end, Josh made good decisions without sacrificing his identity, and I can get behind that.

ANYA

Anya really pulled her shit together, didn't she?  Honestly, I know that there were a lot of v-necks and no sleeves, but I really did like almost every piece she sent down that runway.  And the Caribbean thing isn't really my style!  (Look to Viktor or Kimberly for design aesthetic more up my alley.)  The prints!  The colors!  The movement!  It was all very appealing.  And while some were simply a flowy dress with a deep V, others were actually constructed interestingly, especially for a fabric that doesn't hold a shape.  

The judges seemed to congratulate Anya most on a) simply getting her shit together, and b) having a marketable brand.  Queen of the "Make it Work" moment, she managed to design with both instinct and precision, and came out with a collection that had a cool, cohesive vibe from start to finish.  But is that a bad thing?  Is that a result of Anya being unable to do anything else other than the Caribbean Cool Girl because of lack of sewing experience?  It's a tough call.  And the judges warned against that - Michael Kors said it would have been nice to see a variety, and Nina Garcia wanted it to reach a broader market in terms of retail.  But it was still clear branding that had potential for a serious business, and in the end, Nina even said she was proud of Anya for doing clothes that reflected her own aesthetic.  

All of Anya's strengths can also somehow be subverted into criticism, so in the end, I guess you either like her or you don't.  I like her.  I like her clothes, I liked her collection, I like her as a person.

Of course, this works out well for my state of mind post-finale, because the winner turned out to be Anya herself!  Were you shocked?  I was, a little!  I thought that between Josh and Anya, it would be Josh, but in the end, Anya's raw talent and branding got her through, no matter her sewing skills.

I loved to see the other contestants be so gracious about their runner-up positions.  Kimberly graciously said she already felt like a winner, and Viktor continued his streak of weirdly extended metaphors by saying winning would only be the cherry on top of a sundae he'd already gotten to eat.  Or something.  (I can't judge, though.  I'm the Queen of the Mixed Extended Metaphor, and we all know this.  Sigh!)  And they all declared themselves proud of each other, and held hands.  Aww!

So, another season of Project Runway is behind us, and overall I'd say it was a good one!  I'd like to look back at this season and not remember it as fraught with drama surrounding Anya's sewing skills and Josh's temper problems - and I don't think I'll have trouble doing so.  There were good contestants, from Olivier's bitchy mumbling to Bert's transition from grumpy outcast to beloved workroom dad figure.  I still wish my Double Named Southern Charm Wonder Twins, Laura Kathleen and Anthony Ryan, had made it further, but honestly this Final Four deserved to be there.  And if you want to see the other decoy collections, check out Tom and Lorenzo's full coverage:

• Laura, Olivier, and Viktor
• Anthony Ryan, Anya, and Bert
• Bryce, Joshua, and Kimberly

This wraps up the Project Runway write-ups here at SHE BLOGGO, and I only let two episodes pass me by!  (Sorry, Olivier and Laura Kathleen - I didn't give you a proper sendoff.)  Any suggestions on what to blog next?  I might do another reality show, or maybe delve back into scripted TV... In the meantime, tell me: did you think Anya deserved the win?  Whose collection was your favorite?  And, as always, thank you for reading!

"Finale pt. 1" - Project Runway recap

Project Runway friends!  I missed last week's episode, but I'm back for the two-part finale, rarin' to go!  Of course, in Project Runway tradition, "Finale pt. 1" is also known as "The Tim Gunn Home Visit Variety Hour," but I must say, this season's visits weren't nearly as lively as some in the past.  Remember when Tim rode a two-seated bicycle with Leanne?  Or when Laura Bennett's kids showed him turtle poop?  Or when he got to see the inside of Chris March's friend's apartment, decked floor-to-ceiling in Rococo-inspired extravagance?  Ah, the good old days.

It's not that Tim's visits were boring or underwhelming, but that they presented a somewhat tragic common thread that stitches through each of the final designers' lives: the loss of loved ones.  Anya and Viktor have both experienced the premature death of a brother, and Josh and Kimberly have both lost their moms.  And all four of them talked very specifically about designing for that purpose - to make their moms proud, or fulfill the dreams that their brothers never will.  Goodness!  Bring back the turtle poop; I want to stop crying!

It was all very touching, though, and it made it very easy to want to see all these kids go to Fashion Week.  Luckily (spoiler alert!) - that turned out to be an option!  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  

The remaining four designers gathered on the runway, presumably as Laura Kathleen was still sniffling in the wings, and were greeted with Heidi Klum's vaguely terrifying Joker smile, as she sent them home for five weeks.  They had $9000 to create 10 pieces in that time, and were required to come back and show three of their looks to the judges to determine which three designers would go to (Mercedes Benz) Fashion Week.  (On an aside, does anyone miss when it used to be Olympus Fashion Week?  I get that sponsors change from cameras to cars, but damn if "Olympus" didn't make it sound like some sort of apotheosis takes place under that tent.)

So, Kimberly went home to Maryland, Anya back to Trinidad, and Viktor and Josh trekked the harrowing journey on the subway back to... Manhattan and Queens, respectively.  Is there any argument against wanting to go home with Anya, though?  Josh and Viktor may live in the Big City, but their workspaces were tiny.  Meanwhile, Anya's cruising around on a boat with some seriously beautiful blue ocean beneath her.  One ticket to Trinidad, please!

Tim visited Kimberly first, who had a substantial collection assembled by the time he arrived.  Her inspiration was very specific, in the synthesis of "old Brooklyn" and "new Brooklyn," and what that means for a woman from Brooklyn, much like Kimberly herself.  It was nice to see Kimberly have such a strong point of view, because it seemed like she was somewhat lacking in that area during the competition.  All I could ever say about Kimberly's aesthetic was that she played with structure and could make a mean pair of pants, and I was worried that her final collection could be too one-note or even commercial.  But she shook it up!

I must say, though, I am not sold on the color palette - which Nina Garcia apparently had similar reservations about.  But, I don't think Nina was bored, which Tim Gunn warned against in his home visit: he encouraged Kim to take some risks, and she definitely did.  I'm interested to see the rest of Kimberly's looks, and I hope she casts some models with more flavor than the ones she currently has.  While I think the pieces would be marketable to all women, the collection might play better if there were a variety of skin tones wearing the clothes.  The three models last night were all fairly generic-looking white ladies, and to me, it did a disservice to the garments.  

In Maryland, we got to meet Kimberly's support system - her sister and two best friends, who have been there for Kimberly in the wake of her mother's death and through the pursuit of her dreams.  It was very touching to see Kimberly cite her mother as actual design inspiration, and not just emotional inspiration - it reminded me of when she designed the 70s secretary outfit because of her mom, a few episodes back.  Throw in some vintage pictures of her mom effortlessly rocking some 70s style, and you've got me reaching for the Kleenex.  

To Trinidad!  Tim Gunn looked wary walking down that little gangplank, and confessed to Anya that he almost thought about dressing casually for Trinidad.  Giggle!  Of course, I imagined something like what Merlin wore on vacation in the cartoon The Sword in the Stone, with a loud Hawaiian shirt and little shorts - but I doubt Tim's islandwear would be so gaudy.  He'd probably still find a way to work in a pocket square, and I'd love him for it.  

Regardless, Tim was suited up, and got a mini-tour on a boat, with Anya as a guide.  But then she took him by her workspace, where all she could show him was... fabric.  Ack!  Did anyone's heart immediately sink when they saw this?  I was instantly nervous for Anya.  There's a very specific attention paid to her by the fans and other designers, I think, owing to the fact that she's done so well with so little experience.  We all expected the shoe to drop at some point, and yet, she skated through the competition fairly easily - even when the going got tough.  

Honestly, I'm a bit exhausted by the controversy surrounding Anya's place on the show, especially after it's ramped up a bit thanks to the competition's escalation, as well as those damn "After the Runway" specials they're airing after every episode.  I get that Anya's been designing for four months, and Josh paid an arm and a leg for schooling!  I get that she hasn't made a sleeve!  I get that the judges may treat her differently than the others, based on her inexperience!  But you know what?  She's a damn good designer, and I want to see her collection.  To me, that's the end-all, be-all.

But of course, Anya barely had her fabric assembled at Tim's visit, and bemoaned that she just couldn't draw any new shapes.  SOS!  Honestly, while I think that her lack of experience probably didn't help this situation, I don't think it really contributed to the issue - she just began to overthink things, which happens to all creative people at certain points.  Tim advised her to just make, and work with whatever came out of that process.  Luckily, Anya is the resident "make it work" poster child this season, and this episode was just a series of "make it work" moments for her, from start to finish.

After her critique, Anya introduced Tim to her brothers, and spoke about how they lost another brother when he was 18, and how it affected them.  All three siblings cited it bringing them closer, and Anya very poignantly pointed out that she felt compelled to live out her dreams in respect for the fact that her brother would never have that privilege.  Another tissue moment!  It was also terribly sweet to see her one brother say that it's been rewarding to witness the shift in people's reactions to his one-time beauty queen sister: it's gone from "she's so beautiful" to "she's so talented," and my feminism-loving heart swelled instantly at that thought.

After his island sojourn, Tim returned to NYC, first to visit Viktor.  Turns out Viktor's inspiration comes directly from the death of his brother - specifically from pictures Viktor took when he returned to Mexico after his brother died.  Oh, my heart!  With the words "urban coast" guiding him, Viktor put together a collection that was the most complete of any of them, by far.  Tim loved everything except the gown, which could end up being the "flat note in a WOW collection."  "Let your viscera dictate," he advised Viktor, and of course, I laughed, because I pictured a small intestine telling Viktor where to put pleats.  

In New York, we got to meet Viktor's boyfriend David, which was darling.  I was wondering if we were going to go the whole episode without meeting any significant others!  This foursome seems to be so particularly tireless and hardy sometimes, and honestly it showed in their home lives.  There wasn't a lot of frivolity!  (Turtle poop, where you at?!)  But it was sweet to see David so proud of Viktor - I hope I see that boy's face in the crowd at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week!

Finally, Tim shuttled over to Queens, to meet Joshua.  First, he had lunch with Joshua and his sister, where they talked about Joshua's secret past as a track-and-field star.  Turns out he gave up several scholarships to be able to pursue his dream of design and fashion.  (Who else giggled at Josh's hair in those old photos?  Surely it couldn't have been just me!)

Josh's collection wasn't quite to the place he wanted, but he at least had some garments constructed.  The hiccup, though, was that Tim disliked about 80% of his fabric choices - and I daresay, I agree.  As it sometimes goes with Josh, it bordered on gimmicky and cheap-looking, and Tim even threw in the random adjective "sherberty."  (Josh does love a good sherbert, though, and in a strictly culinary setting, I'd have to agree.)  But after Tim's critique, Joshua only had 2 pieces left that didn't need overhauling.  Yikes!

I must say, I have mixed feelings about Josh's aesthetic and the criticism he receives for it.  It's an interesting question to ponder, because his time on Project Runway has largely been defined by the need for him to examine his natural instincts of bedazzling everything, and scaling them back.  I don't want to say that Josh's designs aren't him, because they clearly are, but at the same time, if you left Josh alone in a room, he'd come out, unedited, with some crazy-ass stuff.  Which is his own aesthetic!  So by self-editing so much, is he sacrificing his love of bright and crazy, or is he just refining it to be a more marketable designer?  It's an interesting question in self-expression and design identity, and as much as I don't necessarily share Josh's love for glam and sparkle, I don't want to see him lose his point of view as a designer.

When the five weeks was up, the four contestants returned to New York, to their swanky penthouse, and geared up for polishing their three looks for mini-runway.  They all got another round with Tim, and each of them except Viktor had their work cut out for them.  Josh's three looked a bit "schizo," Kimberly needed to center herself, and Anya was told it seemed she'd retreated into her comfort zone.  Oh.  How do you fix that?!  Poor Anya.  It was heartbreaking to see her finally crying, and realizing how much she wanted this - only to psych herself out because of it.  Honey, don't worry about what Trinidad will think of you, just be yourself and make the clothes you're good at making!  

In the end, each collection had high points, but still needed work.  The judges actually derided the styling on each of them, except Joshua, who hit the right notes in that department.  Kimberly's styline was overworked, Anya's wasn't doing her any favors (especially those bad newscaster shoes!), and Viktor didn't pair the right pieces together for maximum effect.  

It was clear, though, that the boys were going to Fashion Week.  Viktor made some great individual pieces, and Heidi even wanted to try on his white jacket.  If anything, Viktor overdesigned a little bit, with the leather zipper skirt, and details on the jacket (Heidi would have liked smaller baubles).  But his aesthetic was there, it was strong, and the judges liked the pieces.

As for Josh, Nina was impressed with his ability to pull it together cohesively while still keeping that fresh and crazy Joshua McKinley style.  Sure, Michael Kors hated the back of his half-dress-half-catsuit, but on the whole, it was clear he had a ticket to the tents as well.

The girls?  The girls were definitely the ones in trouble.  It was interesting, parsing the judges' arguments, and in doing so, I do actually think they made the right decision, in the end.  They liked the ideas behind both Kimberly and Anya's collections, but took issue with some of the execution.  They loathed the styling for both, and weren't behind two of the three looks.  Nina disliked the color palette on Kimberly's, Heidi did not like the "bubble butt" skirt, and all three expressed disappointment at Anya's confusion in terms of her point of view.  But these hiccups are things that the ladies can change, especially considering their impressive track records in editing and redirection, and it was clear the judges still wanted to see what both collections could be after the criticism.  I was right there with them!  I still wanted to see what Anya and Kimberly could pull together, even after the issues.

So it turned out that this challenge was like a little trial run for their work, wherein they were able to receive helpful advice for editing.  Especially because all four of them are going to Fashion Week!  Wee!  I love that Project Runway is so stringent about some rules - Anya's lost money, using outside help, gluing models into their garments - but when it comes to determining the designers to show collections, they easily and willingly bend tradition.  This is not the first time that four designers have competed, and it will not be the last.  From a logical standpoint, all four designers made something unique and interesting, and if the judges want to see all four show, then so be it!  And, I feel compelled to point out to Joshua in particular (who thought that neither Kim nor Anya should show) that it's not like these issues don't carry over!  Next week does not start from scratch; Kim still has to deal with her color palette, and Anya still has to figure out how to "untorture" her aesthetic.  But they at least have the chance to, and if they can pull it off, doesn't that say something about their abilities?

Whatever.  I, for one, am happy that all four are attending, especially after hearing so much about their personal tragedies and how they channel that into inspiration.  All four collections piqued my interest, and no matter how many times Josh or Viktor sneer about how Anya can't make a sleeve, I'll still want to see what she can put on the runway.  So, next week!  We'll see who's crowned the winner, and if these designers can course-correct their errant choices for complete, cohesive, and interesting collections!

"This is for the Birds" - Project Runway Recap

How is it there are only six designers left?  It seems like just yesterday I was trying to remember who the hell was who, and scoffed at people like Bert and Anya making it past the first few challenges.  But here we are!  It really is down to the wire, and this week, there were three different birds sitting on it: an Amazonian Parrot, a Cockatoo, and a Raven.  The challenge: design a look inspired by one of these three birds.

At first, the contestants thought they were working in teams selected by chance: Laura Kathleen and Anya, Viktor and Kimberly, and Bert and Joshua.  At first they bemoaned another team challenge, but all six of them were content with their pairings - even Bert and Josh, erstwhile antagonists, were okay with the outcome!  But then - psyche!  Turns out the pairs were going head-to-head instead.  Oh.  How sad was it to see Laura and Anya's elation drop quickly into disappointment?  Honestly, this was one challenge that I would have loved to see in partnerships, simply because the pairings were so interesting.

Alas, it was not to be, and so each duo set up about inspecting their assigned bird for any signs of artistic inspiration.  The goal: a high fashion look, which, if selected by the judges, would be the focus of an "advertorial" (if there is such a thing; I'm dubious) in Marie Claire - and the winning designer would receive $20,000.

To me, it was kind of an odd challenge.  It was plainly obvious that the producers were trying to put as much pressure as possible on the contestants at this point in the competition.  Another team challenge, seemingly?  Stressful!  Just kidding, it's a head-to-head competition... even more stressful!  Then, they raise the stakes by tacking a hefty cash sum onto the prize package, and before we knew it, all the designers were hawk-eyeing each other in the workroom.  If that weren't enough, halfway through, Tim Gunn told them they had to design a second high fashion look inspired by the same bird (what gives?) and then three hours before it was all over he told them that no, never mind, they'd only send one look down the runway.

What gives, Project Runway producers?  I felt emotionally exhausted at the end of this episode, and I didn't even make a garment!  In fact, I don't even think I got up off the couch at any point, even during the commercials.  This should tell you something!  I mean, other than the fact that I'm lazy.

Poor Kimberly seemed to be struggling the most during the challenge, as she tried to break out of her comfort zone but couldn't manage the chutzpah to make it happen.  I felt badly for her, and it honestly seemed like one of the worst funks I've seen a designer slip into, barring actual illness.  "It's just one of those days," she told Tim, and it really was.  Her fabric had stains on it, she somehow managed to get hot glue on it too, and she sewed through her finger.  Between her listless demeanor, persistent bad luck, and the talking heads where she spoke about losing her mother, stepfather, and brother... I was seriously worried for Kimberly's livelihood last night (both in the show, as well as her emotional state!).  

Luckily, Tim Gunn was there to support her, and I'm not gonna lie, I teared up when he gave her a hug and called himself her biggest cheerleader.  How wonderful is that man?  I love that Project Runway is a show that acknowledges how taxing it is, creatively, physically, and emotionally, and I love that Tim Gunn is there simply to support them through the process.  And really, let's face facts; I just love Tim Gunn, full-stop.

Of course, Viktor was side-eyeing Kimberly all episode, keeping track of his competitor and her seemingly inevitable spiral into self-destruction - even claiming that she nicked some of his ideas.  To be fair, all of the designers kept careful watch on their competition, and through the comparisons, some interesting discussions emerge, about Kimberly and Anya in particular. 

For once, the Bert-Joshua interaction wasn't the most attention-worthy part of the episode; it was obvious from the start that these two have polar opposite aesthetics with comparable skill level and therefore it was simply up to the judges' taste.  With Viktor and Kimberly, and Laura and Anya, though, there's an acknowledged divide in construction ability.  Kimberly even stated herself, that Viktor had the upper hand in terms of constructing garments.  And, of course, Laura and Anya have a more exaggerated version of the same thing: Laura's been sewing since she was eight, whereas I have food in my pantry that's older than Anya's sewing experience.

And, according, to Joshua and Viktor, this means that Anya and Kimberly shouldn't be rewarded for their inexperience - not when Josh paid $100,000 for an education and Viktor puts in so much effort on the construction of one garment while Kimberly scraps her original and makes a new one in three hours.  He even stated: "This is a sewing competition," and Josh basically echoed the same sentiment when he was repulsed by Anya's lack of consideration for how the model would get in and out of her garment.

This wouldn't be an issue, except Anya and Kimberly won their matchups, and the truth comes out: this is not a sewing competition.  Michael Kors reminded us: Project Runway is about design, and while, sure, you can't send clothes down the runway with loose threads and uneven hems and hot glue everywhere, the merit of the design almost always takes precedence over the construction skills that went into it.  And at the end of the day, Anya had a better design than Laura's, even though she had to sew her model into it.  And Kimberly had a better design than Viktor, even though she made it in three hours.

It's a tough pill to swallow, if you're not Kimberly or Anya, and I'm bracing myself for the conflict to escalate between now and Fashion Week.  But from a fan perspective, I see it similarly as the judges.  Both Kimbo and Anya tried to do something different, and successfully put well-designed and interesting garments down the runway.  As contestants and designers, they made good choices.  And both Laura and Viktor's outfits, no matter how impeccably constructed, had feathers on them, and were deemed too literally interpreted.  The judges gave them both credit, though - Viktor for his "fascinating, unique, and romantic" feather technique, and Laura Kathleen for stepping out of her comfort zone to try something new.

As for the Bert v. Josh showdown (the tamest we've seen!), the judges almost loved both outfits entirely.  Bert's fell short for the lack of exuberance and being generally uninspired by his bird, and Michael Kors hated the flower detail on Joshua's joyful number, calling it the "drunk-in-the-Caribbean party corsage."  But in the end, the overall refreshing tone of Josh's dress beat out Bert's well-made but uninspiring piece.

So, Anya nabbed the win for this one, and presumably they figured out a way to get her model in the dress before they shot the "advertorial."  That $20,000 could probably have bought a well-placed zipper or something, right?  Josh, however, was not happy about this decision, and his declaration that Anya was "playing [the game] well" made me think that Josh has his suspicions about Anya and some sort of Trinidadian beauty queen witchcraft.  Perhaps the secret is in a Caribbean party corsage?  Only a drunk trip to Trinidad and Tobago can tell us.

Frankly, though, I appreciate both Anya and Kimberly in particular for their ability to make it work.  How many episodes have these ladies appeared to have been in trouble, with either a workroom calamity or a bad critique from Tim Gunn - only to pull their design together and put something good on the runway?  Not only do these two have an eye for editing, but they also can clearly, if you pardon the phrase, fix their shit.  That's impressive to me, and I'm behind both of them going to Fashion Week, for sure.

Who isn't going to Fashion Week, though, is dear old Bert, who has been in a revolving door in and out of my heart this entire competition.  I am sad to see him go, though, just because it's been rewarding to see him finally fit in with the other designers.  He and Josh went from bitching at each other to acting like the married couple of the workroom.  (Josh cooed, "Beeeeeert, see you at home tonight!" and Bert just replied, "Yes, dear."  Adorable!)  I also love his and Laura Kathleen's awkwardly amiable father-daughter dynamic, and it hurt my heart a little bit to see them both in the Bottom 2.  But even Bert confirmed that the judges made the right decision, and it was thus that the self-described 102-year-old made a classy exit - leaving behind good friendships with the other designers, finally.  It felt like closure!

So, next week is the last challenge, where the Final 3 are chosen and the contestants can start to smell the tents at Fashion Week!  Right now it's looking to me like a shoo-in for Viktor and Anya, with the third slot up for grabs between Kimberly and Joshua - if they have more faith in Joshua editing himself, or Kimberly putting forth some showstoppers.  Unfortunately, it seems that unless Laura Kathleen pulls something amazing (and I hope she does, frankly), she's going to be sitting this one out.  How about you guys?  Who do you want to see a collection from?  Who do you think will break down next week?  Only time will tell...

"Sew 70s" - Project Runway Recap

Project Runway friends!  Firstly, I must apologize for the lack of recap last week - real life overwhelmed me and I couldn’t find a spare minute to look down my nose at the gaggle of 70s-era atrocities that paraded down that runway.  But it seems I have a second chance, because this week’s challenge was to take a 70s look and update it, making it sophisticated and modern for a chance to be sold on piperlime.com.

The designers viewed this as a second chance as well, especially Anya and Kimberly, who had received unusually cold critique for their lackluster menswear designs in the last challenge.  But it was also painfully evident throughout the entire episode that we are really getting into the competition.  Laura Kathleen decreed that all seven designers left can make good clothes - it’s just a matter of who makes good design choices with a sophisticated taste level.  Indeed, everyone seemed to be full of slightly cliché (but no less true) bon mots about the competition: Anya said there’s no room for mistakes, and Josh echoed a similar sentiment: “no excuses.”  Viktor perhaps summed it up best (and most colloquially?) with a sassy, “The game is on, bitches.”  (Did he do a neck roll?  I can’t remember.  In my mind, he did.  A neck roll and a waggling index finger.  Because in my head, Viktor is a cartoon.)

What’s funny about these four early statements is that they each turned out to hold particular ironic relevance to the person who said them.  LK talked about taste level, and come Tim’s critique, was warned that Nina Garcia thought hers was lacking.  (Please read the word “lacking” in Nina’s pointed tone of voice - you know the one.)  Anya said there was no room for mistakes, and then made the biggest mistake of all in losing her money at Mood - a Project Runway first!  Then there was Josh’s declaration about no excuses, which he must have forgotten about when he got on the runway and kind of… made excuses.  Finally, Viktor’s “game is on, bitches” attitude came along with the worry that people would get nasty - when in reality, he was the only one that played the game seriously.  He refused to help Anya, got pissy over Josh’s similarly constructed back pleat, and busted out a seriously sassy shout-out to Driving Miss Daisy. 

Meanwhile, Bert’s just surprised he’s still there.  And bless you, Bert; I think everyone watching is a little surprised too. 

Bert had a little advantage this challenge, though, simply in that he lived the 70s and was theoretically less likely to construct something cliché.  Whereas Viktor bemoaned that he was “never born in the 70s” and Josh lamented that he “never lived in that time.”  I don’t know what it is with these boys and their “never” statements about the 70s, but both times they made me laugh at them.  “I was never born in the 70s,” “I never lived in that time,” - both sentences are ridiculously hilarious to me because, really, who phrases them like that? 

It was obvious who didn’t have an advantage for this challenge, though, and that would be dear, sweet, mohawked Anya.  Apparently her bra strap was not the best place to keep her money, and the floors of Mood devoured the dropped envelope without a trace.  This was a Project Runway first, and the rules were quickly established that unless her competitors were feeling benevolent with their leftover money, Anya was stuck with muslin only. 

So, as a fellow competitor, do you help Anya out or leave her to her cornflakes-fabricked fate?  It’s a tough question, because, as Viktor noted, it is indeed a game (bitches).  And yet, Anya was giving away her extra fabric last week with hardly any hesitation.  The same question came up when Laura Kathleen questioned Kimberly’s “JC Penney” design choices - the girls had made a pact to tell each other when they felt one of them was going astray, but… do you really want to help out your competition?  The dilemma’s fingerprints were all over this episode: are you friends, or are you competitors?  As Laura Kathleen noted: they can’t all stay until the end.  They can’t all go to Fashion Week.  (Even though they do.  Shhhhh!)

Turns out Anthony Ryan, bless him, gave his extra eleven dollars to Anya so she could buy at least some fabric, and all the designers (except Viktor!) chipped in the scraps they weren’t using.  It felt a little bit like Anya was Tiny Tim in a soup kitchen, but even so, it warmed my heart to see the other designers be so generous.  Competition or not, I appreciate more when contestants help each other out in the pursuit of their art, instead of the prize.  (I’m the unusual reality TV viewer: bring me fuzzy moments of human interaction!  Begone, backstabbing bitchiness!)

It was clear early on that Anya was either going to be eliminated for her blunder, or work some sort of magic with her circumstances and pull out an amazing garment.  As if her measly four months of sewing experience weren’t enough to make her an underdog!  Then Tim Gunn delivered another blessing/curse combo halfway through: the designers were required to make a second one-piece garment, with a second trip to Mood, and a second budget - even if just $50.  Sure, it doubled Anya’s already-backed-up workload, but it also gave her a chance to buy more fabric.  So she safety-pinned (and hot-glued and staple-gunned) that money to her dress and bought as much with the $50 that she could manage.

As for the other contestants, they struggled conceptually with designing for the 70s without specifically looking retro or vintage.  Kimberly rather sweetly took inspiration from her mother, who was a secretary in the 70s, and Josh McKinley rather hilariously took inspiration from 70s glam disco.  Bless you, Josh.  Where’d the Village People idea go?  Actually, both Josh and Anthony Ryan’s designs bordered dangerously into 80s territory, although Bert described AR’s fabric as something he’d “go to the mall in, or bury something in the woods.”  I guess the range of Bert’s wardrobe really can span some light shopping as well as covering up a murder.

In the end, Anya did indeed rock it out, with a damn solid look for just $11, even if the top was “Dentyne gum” pink (quip courtesy of Michael Kors).  Her second design was even better, a flowing maxi-meets-jumpsuit with an understated but gorgeous pattern.  Say what you will about her sewing experience, but homegirl knows her prints and has style for days.  Heidi, Nina, and guest judge Olivia Palermo all wanted Anya’s jumpsuit, and even Michael Kors said he’d get one to match! 

At this point in the competition, it’s difficult to imagine a final 3 without Anya in it, unless of course it’s not too late for her inexperience to catch up with her.  But unless she blunders on a challenge, I think the judges would rather see what Anya would put together for a show, more than most of the other contestants.  Nina praised her for her ability to solve problems and adapt to less-than-desirable design circumstances (like losing all your money in Mood, say) - and Heidi called her style quietly showstopping.  High praise!

The other seeming shoo-in for Fashion Week is Mr. Tiger himself - Viktor, of original back pleat fame.  Viktor shared the top with Anya, with a very sharp-looking jacket and tee-shirt that felt very reminiscent of his workout wear a few challenges back.  I confess, as well-made as Viktor’s looks were, from concept to execution, I didn’t think they were terribly 70s-esque.  I imagine he wanted to do something not too on-the-nose in terms of print or color palette, but I think maybe Viktor erred too conservatively away from 70s and strayed too far from theme.

In another surprise, Bert took the third slot in the top, for a balanced duo of glam transparent pantsuit and a simple two-colored dress.  Turns out Bert’s experience of having ever been born in and/or lived in the 70s helped him out, as well as the knowledge that apparently women love to show their shoulders.  (Thanks, Michael Kors!  I hadn’t really thought about it.)

Kimberly snuck through in the one gap left for complete safety, in what is perhaps Kimbo’s true place in this competition: sneaking through.  She hasn’t gotten a lot of attention despite her impeccable construction, and I’ve been particularly impressed with her ability to reroute a potentially catastrophic design.  Both Anya and Kimberly seem blessed with the know-how to take a bad critique and thoughtfully redirect the misgivings into a well-executed design.  At this point, I’d like to see a full collection from Kimberly as well, although I fear the judges won’t be as wowed by her chic everyday looks.  Would they hold up on runway?  Who knows.  But Kimberly’s got a job making pants somewhere, so I’m not worried.

The bottom saw the fall of Anthony Ryan and Laura Kathleen, the Southern Charm Double-Named Wonder Twins who started so strongly in this competition.  It was looking less and less likely that these two would make it to Fashion Week, which is a shame because I rather like both of them.  Tonight, Anthony Ryan’s 3-piece casual look and kimono-style maxi were derided by the judges, and Nina Garcia in particular was horrified by AR’s take on the weed-smoking days of the 70s.  (Anybody else tickled by Nina’s cutaway reaction shots this week?  They seemed more pointed and hilarious than usual.  Thanks, editors!) 

According to Nina, Anthony Ryan’s look just wasn’t “luxe,” and Michael Kors thought they looked like “hippie sister wives” or “boring cult girls.”  I confess, I cracked up.  I did not crack up at Olivia Palermo’s dumbfounded question: “Why not make it a skort?”  I’m sorry, Olivia Palermo, but I just don’t get how skorts are fashion-forward.  Perhaps it’s the residual effects of my late 90s/early 00s bad fashion teen years kicked in, but skorts to me are like the sporks of the clothing world: cool in theory, but a bit tacky in practice.

Laura Kathleen fell victim to Nina’s contempt of her taste level.  It was so strange to me that Tim warned LK of this outright, that Nina specifically is not taken with Laura’s taste, which Laura, bless her, sometimes thinks is too refined.  But she tried to cater more towards Nina’s style, and still came up short, with a top and skirt that didn’t quite go.  I feel badly for Laura - there's specifically a video on Lifetime's website called "Nina Garcia hates Laura Kathleen!"  What the hell?  It doesn't help matters that every time they cut to LK this episode, she always seemed somewhat despairing.  No, it seems Miss Barbie Burner’s chances at Fashion Week are becoming, well… assy.  Sadface.

The final bottomdweller was none other than Josh McKinley, whose trips to the top and bottom happen almost as extremely and as frequently as his mood swings.  I definitely said, “Oh!” out loud when his look turned the corner, but I’m not sure it was a good thing.  Nina decreed his fabric choices “tragic,” and Michael said they went against the laws of fashion nature.  Did anyone else catch Nina’s powerfully disdainful eyeroll when discussing Josh’s outfit?  Magnificent.

In the end, Anya pulled out the win with her maxi pantsuit, and, along with Bert’s mini dress, is going to be featured on piperlime.com.  I must say, I’d definitely buy Anya’s, but I’m not sure Bert’s would look flattering on me, even though I liked the details in the tie and the two-color blocking.  But Bert's is sold out on the website!  Go figure.  

And, poor Anthony Ryan got the axe.  I was sad to see Anthony Ryan’s star fade out when he had so much potential, and it was even sadder to see him talk about being close with the other designers, hair styled in Anya’s signature mohawk style as they hugged goodbye.  Sniff!  I’ll miss you, Anthony Ryan, and I can’t wait until I’m not scared of spoilers so I can see your runway collection.

Lastly, I do want to confess that I had a fashion epiphany this week, and that is in the fairly obvious juxtaposition of the “mini” skirt and the “maxi” dress.  I don’t know why this wasn’t plainly apparent to me in the first place, but all of a sudden the two words were used in conjunction and it was enough for me to finally realize that “mini” and “maxi” are indeed opposite types of skirts in both name and style.  Duh.  Placate me, friends - was this a first-time realization for anyone else?

Anyways, are you all as sad to see Anthony Ryan leave as I am?  Are you like Bert, and surprised he’s still here?  Would you have given Anya your money, or protected yourself?  Who do you think is destined for the Final 3?  And did you shudder as much as I did when Olivia Palermo used the phrase “I would have chose?”

"What Women Want" - Project Runway Recap

I'd like to make a little wager, Project Runway fans.  I'd bet a hefty sum of money that if you've watched every episode so far this season, and then only looked at the final garments, no names attached, from tonights' episode, that you could tell who designed each one.  Asymmetrical kimono?  Anya!  Solid block of color?  Bryce!  Classic standard gown?  Laura Kathleen!  Richly colored separates with a structured top and well-fit high-waisted skirt?  Kimberly!    Basic dress that's just kind of bland?  Bert!  Asymmetrical structured top in a neutral color?  Olivier!  

Yes, we're at the point in the competition where we've gotten to know everyone's aesthetics, and this year's contestants in particular seem to be specific about their design sense.  

We're also at a point in the competition where every designer has won one challenge, except for Bryce, who has won none.  Oh, Bryce!  The immediate declaration of this information meant that either Bryce was going to pull himself up by his bootstraps this episode, or he was getting the final nail hammered in on his coffin.

This week's challenge was intended to strike horror into the hearts of our Nine, as Heidi chirped her ominous "hello!" and immediately brought out... dudes.  No, not menswear!  The only menswear challenge I remember was in Season 3, and everyone did poorly.  I seem to remember Jack Mackenroth winning simply because the man was dressed and it fit.  "It" being the simple dress pant and pin-striped dress shirt.  

No, menswear is a dirty word.  But it turns out, they wouldn't be designing for men!  No, they were designing for these men's significant others, under their direction.  Cue the other PR dirty word: real women.  Real women are not size 2 models who could also pass for stick insects and/or lamp posts.  Real women are hence hard to design for, and everyone knew it.  (To be fair, real men are also hard to design for: Anya picked her guy because he was the slimmest of the bunch!)

Olivier in particular had a hilariously frustrating time designing for a new body type.  More specifically, his model had an ample chest.  "Her breasts, are like, ginormous?" an innocent Olivier asked the husband.  And then Olivier spent the rest of the episode worrying about boobs - probably more than he ever had in his entire life.  "Those boobs, to me, are trouble," he fretted.  At Mood, he trepidatiously asked everyone in the store what double Ds were, and somehow only the lady at the register was able to tell him.  (Is this really not common knowledge about knockers?)  And finally, Olivier summed his experience all up in one fell swoop: "I don't like women to have boobs."  Oh, Olivier.  

Most other men in the workroom weren't agreeing with him, though - Bert's client in particular.  Anthony claimed that the first thing he noticed about his future wife was her bazoombas, and then proceeded to tell Bert and everyone in the workroom what he liked to do with them.  The self-proclaimed Boobie Monster wanted to show off his wife's impressive cleavage, and Bert, not wanting to play it safe, good-naturedly took the plunge - right to the neckline.

There were few other boobular issues though, and most everyone else designed around body type with ease.  It was eerie, too, to see how well some of these people were matched.  Laura Kathleen's model Rebecca walked in, and it was like seeing a Laura Kathleen from the future come back to have a chat with her past self - and she wanted to look like Barbie!  (Watch out, though.  I hear Laura burns those.)  Anya's model, Kaylene, was an artist who wanted something interesting and creative to wear to her gallery openings - perfect!  And Viktor was so in tune with his couple that the skirt he made, before even meeting Victoria, was exactly like the one she was sporting when she showed up.  Between that, and the fact that Viktor wore the same ensemble to judging as George, they were like a trio matched in fashion heaven!  (Insert poorly-conceived Viktor/Victoria joke here.)

Others weren't so lucky.  Josh McKinley was faced with Charlene, who liked "simple."  Apparently Joshua has two definitions of the word "simple," because after she gave some yes/no feedback to his questions, it dawned on him: "OH, you mean SIIIIIMPLE."  Complete with a hand gesture I didn't understand.  But Josh worked it out, and created a - yes, simple, yet elegant "lbd" - little black dress - that didn't bore or underwhelm.  That took a lot of talent, to make all the right design choices and dodge the obstacles of doing too much of your client's taste or too much of your own taste.  (No bedazzling!)

Anthony Ryan did the rather compassionate thing, by agreeing to make a dress for Caitlin that was reminiscent of a favorite that Bryan had lost in an airport previously.  Bryan and Caitlin were super sweet, and I appreciated that Anthony Ryan was on board with the sentimentality - even if it didn't quite pay off for him in the end.

Speaking of sentimentality, Bryce had a lovely couple in Janine and Jovan - but they were so lovely that it just made Bryce think of his boyfriend back home and get all emotional.  He, too, had to step out of his box with the color pink.  According to Bryce, pink just isn't his thing.  Which, if I recall correctly, there was a point where he said orange wasn't his thing either.  Bryce... what is your thing? 

I would be remiss as well without mentioning Olivier again, this time without all the associated boob talk.  Olivier, oh, Olivier.  Jeff and Suzanne (she of ginormous bosom) gave Olivier a lot of input, and although they always relented, encouraging him, it was still overwhelming to the dear, sweet, grandpa-sweater wearing young man.  Although, Olivier's reactions were hilarious.  Everything he said was technically kind of bitchy, but also certifiably lol-worthy when it was said with the droopy-eyed poker face that made you wonder if Olivier was also a little bit medicated during this challenge.  "The two of them together just confuse me," he said of his (very nice but) demanding clients.  "I just want some quietness sometimes."  (Other bon mots offered by Olivier in the episode: "We were left with all these fat people... and fat is fine, but not... when I'm making clothes."  Oh, Olivier!  Your sleepy brand of bitchiness is extremely amusing to me.  Keep it up!

But here's what I wonder about challenges like these: do the clients get some sort of briefing on their interactions with the designers?  Are they told to be lenient around the contestants' needs to make something for the competition, or are they told to behave as a real client would and excise creative input in a result that under other circumstances would be theirs?  Because I feel like if I were a client on Project Runway I would just say yes to everything the designer offered me as long as it looked like it would be reasonably flattering on me.  

Although I suppose if you asked the clients what their strategy was, they'd probably say something along those lines.  And honestly, most everything this weak was reasonably flattering - there were just little fit issues and design issues here and there.

Bryce created a basic little dress out of his dyed pink fabric at the last minute, and in an effort to spice it up a bit added half a dozen little details that weren't terribly necessary.  The pockets on that dress are okay in theory (I love a good dress pocket!) but Michael Kors was right, they really were perfectly shaped to carry a beer bottle.  (Or a lambchop, I guess.)  The fit on Bryce's dress was sloppy, too, which wasn't surprising considering he'd thrown it together at the last minute.

Anthony Ryan, in his attempt to revive the memory of Caitlin's beloved lost dress, completely lost the ability to style it in a way that was fresh and visually interesting.  Malin Ackerman said it was reminiscent of her high school cheerleading uniform, and I can't say I disagree.  Maybe if AR had used a different fabric - something with a subtle pattern on it, perhaps - to make it less basic?  It seemed he knew the dress wasn't up to his standard, though, wishing he'd put more of himself into it.  

And... Bert.  Oh, Bert.  Bert worked surprisingly well with his clients, and, in the end, created a cute little dress.  But... that's just it.  It was "fine," according to Malin Ackerman and Michael Kors.  Nothing terribly special about it.  The silhouette was dull, and while the fabric was a good choice, nothing was done with it in terms of construction to make it worth a second look.  Bert seems to be on borrowed time here, and unless he wows us next week, I daresay Mr. Keeter's card may be up.

Laura Kathleen, Kimberly, and Olivier skated through in the middle ground, and Olivier lived to see a week where he doesn't have to worry about boobs anymore.  Praise be!

The top this week belonged to Anya, Joshua, and Viktor, all of whom created sophisticated and interesting looks that represented the clients well, but still spoke to the individual designer's sensibilities.  

Anya was praised for doing a successful "culture clash" with her bold but classy reinterpretation of a kimono dress.  I have to say, that's one thing I love about Anya: she brings a rather global viewpoint to her sartorial aesthetic, and isn't afraid to draw influence from the traditional garb of other cultures.  It's cool, and something Project Runway is often lacking -  the only other contestant who comes to mind is Korto Momolu from Season 5.  And even though Nina Garcia hated that one sleeve, she still got behind Anya's point of view.

Actually, while we're on the subject of my favorite Ms. Garcia, I appreciated that Nina framed a lot of her critique in how the designers dealt with the women's bodies - from a positive standpoint.  She questioned why Anya covered up one of Kaylene's best traits, and complimented Josh McKinley for accentuating Charlene's "beautiful waist."  It was lovely to see Nina Garcia, a fashion maven, in touch with the wearability for an "everyday woman," and to embrace the fact that most women, unlike models, can't just wear anything - they have to wear what looks good for their individual body type.

Joshua was also in the top, redeeming himself from his emotional dervish last week.  He managed to understand simple, and yet still push Charlene out of her comfort zone a little bit.  The lace detailing on that dress was adorable yet classy, and the deep-V back managed to be both flirtatious yet understated.  And those shoes he chose!  100% amazing all around.  I'd wear that ensemble in a heartbeat, and you could tell his model felt like a million bucks.  She just lit right up, and for that, Josh really did deserve this win.

But Viktor worked magic with his design as well, even though he didn't have to overcome a difference in taste.  Because he and his clients were on the same page from the beginning, he was able to make an adorably charming outfit that was polished and put-together, head-to-toe.  Turns out his original design was long-sleeve, though, and Victoria asked for a shorter sleeve instead - prompting Michael to say that was a key decision, and a good reason to always listen to your customer.  But Michael, Suzanne wanted a poofy bell sleeve.  I think better advice is to always listen to good taste.

In the end, Josh took the win and Bryce got the boot - and we're down to a collection of designers who've all won at least one challenge.  There's no immunity from here on out though, so anybody could go home next week.  And it's another team challenge!  Oh dear.  Bert and Josh are still here, and Viktor didn't work well with Bert either, so chances are it's going to be another disaster in the making.  I can't wait!

"Can't We Just All Get Along?" - Project Runway Recap

Watching last night's Project Runway was not terribly unlike watching a disaster movie: you knew exactly how everything was going to fall apart, and yet you couldn't stop watching in abject horror as it all unfolded before you.  There were tidal waves of emotions, crumbling resolves, desperate citizens trying not to panic, and even a Godzilla-esque terror stomping around in Joshua McKinley.

Actually, only half of last night's Project Runway was like this.  The other half was like watching a children's show on PBS - maybe one where Bob Ross gets six kids together to paint a mural with him, as Mister Rogers calmly supervises.  And afterwards they do trust falls and eat cupcakes.  Meanwhile, across the workroom, the townspeople are scattering from the eruption of Mount McKinley.  (Note: the real Mt. McKinley is not actually a volcano.)

This weeks' madness was all in the quest to put on a mini runway show, comprising five pieces that were all cohesive around an idea of the designers' choice - but that was also manifested in three original prints.  Not only that, but they had to choose music and shoot a video to accompany their runway show, making sure everything synchronized behind their theme.

Phew.  It was a doozy.  But nothing was more terror-inducing than the discovery that they'd be in two teams of five to complete it.  Becky put it best perhaps, in the most hilarious offscreen reaction I've ever heard: "Hooooooh boy."

Yes, Becky.  Hooooooh boy indeed.  

Since Anthony Ryan won last week's challenge (even though Josh McKinley vehemently declared that he should have, in the first of his many crazy moments this episode) he got to pick first - but not actually lead the team.  Heidi was very clear that technically there was not to be a leader, which is silly considering she asked at the end of the episode that one person needed to be responsible for the win or loss.  But maybe she just wanted to make sure that Josh, being first picked for the other team, wouldn't go all Auteur Visionary on everyone's asses again.

Anthony Ryan picked Anya, and I cheered.  Two of my favorites on the same team!  Then Josh picked Laura, and my heart sank a little bit.  Because what viewer doesn't want to see all their faves on the same side?  But alas, both Laura and Kim went to Josh, with Becky and Bert in accompaniment.  Anthony Ryan and Anya rounded out their team with Viktor, Olivier, and Bryce.  

It was instantly apparent that there were going to be Problems of a Disaster-Movie proportion, and I loved how everyone knew it.  The entire episode was just like watching a trainwreck in slow-motion, because you knew that Josh's team was just surging haphazardly towards a brick wall and everyone was just bracing themselves for the impact.  It really was a "disaster waiting to happen," as Anya put it.  With Josh, Bert, and Becky on one team, the disaster was inevitable.  That shoe was going to drop.  

The teams got together to brainstorm, and, sure enough, the prophecies began to be fulfilled.  Anthony Ryan was giddy with the opportunity to incorporate graphic design, and put out the idea of using ink blots as a pattern.  (Technically, guys, it's called the Rorschach Test... except nobody on PR turned out to be as big of an egghead as me to actually call it that.  Sigh.  Carry on, non-nerds!)  Everybody loved the idea, and I think even everyone watching at home let out a collective "Oooooh" of intrigue as well.  The concept eventually turned into the idea of chaos, with the mirror-image technique of ink-blotting helping to take random marks and turn them into an actual design, so that it wasn't actually, well, chaos.

The more I think about Team Chaos' approach, the cooler - and more intelligent - I think it was.  At first, I was a little hesitant about something that could seem so trite; chaos is hardly anything new or revolutionary in terms of thematic delineation.  It also seemed like an easy way to throw anything on the dress form and call it a day, with the built-in excuse that it's "chaotic."  But AR & Co. took the chaos and made sense of it, using their prints to make patterns out of the madness.  In the end, it wasn't so much about the concept of ink blotting, but rather using the ink blotting as a means to an end - chaos was the concept, and ink blotting was their execution.  And what exactly does the ink blot test do?  Gives you a random smattering of black shapes and asks you to make sense of it.  Seriously, hats off to Team Chaos - they successfully took a rather ho-hum theme and executed it freshly and intelligently.

The other team... well, they weren't nearly so well-developed.  I mean, there was no way this could end well when Joshua immediately wanted to do five female glam versions of the Village People.  I'm pretty sure somehow, somewhere, Chris March, former contestant who designed parade costumes for plus-size drag queens, was like, "Oh, honey, even I know that's tacky."  But other ideas offered up were sea amoebas (would the love child of Betsey Johnson and Oscar de la Renta really design around sea amoebas, Laura?) and clocks.  So there wasn't a whole lot to choose from.

In the end, Team "Nuts and Bolts" chose to find inspiration in clocks, which was just the next problem in their domino line of issues.  They spent so long trying to settle on an idea they could all get behind rather than actually brainstorm the implications of their theme.  So instead of designing around fascinating concepts like the transience of time or impermanence of life, they instead designed as if they were looking at the arrivals board at a train station.  Becky made a print out of cogs, Laura made a print out of the numbers of a clock, and Joshua made a print that just repeated the words "cancelled" and "delayed" and "on time."  It was so literal, and so on the nose, that there was no way to infuse any sophistication in their clothes after the design process had been so clunky.

Tim Gunn expressed immediate concern for Team Nuts and Bolts, and even if the look on his face weren't enough, he used some variation of the word "trouble" three times during his critique - and that's pretty damning.  Of course, we all knew the team was in for trouble from the get-go, and the fact that Josh objected to Tim's advice didn't bode well.  "Where is she going?" Tim asked of their designs, and Joshua replied, "Why is she going anywhere?!"  Well, Joshua, I hate to tell you, but I don't get dressed up unless I'm going somewhere.  When I watch Project Runway, for instance, in the comfort of my own living room, I wear shorts and a t-shirt, that hopefully don't have food stains on them.  Because I'm not going anywhere, and there's no criteria for my ensemble.  If you could even call it that. 

While we're here, let's talk about the notorious "Head Nut" (as deemed by Kimberly).  I felt emotionally exhausted just watching Josh McKinley, so I can't even fathom what it must be like to actually be Josh McKinley.  He was pretty much a terror this episode, initially sulking after not getting his way, then yelling at Bert for making comments under his breath, then lashing out at Bert for swearing, then questioning Tim Gunn's critique, apologizing for his outbursts, and finally breaking down on the phone with his father.  Turns out it had been his mother's birthday, and all of a sudden Josh because the most tragic tyrant on television.  Sure, he was annoying all episode, but when it was revealed that he hadn't been able to see his mom before she passed away because he was so focused on his dream of designing?  Cue the waterworks.  Especially when he phrased it as just wanting to know that his tunnel vision on his dream was worth it; that missing his family was worth it.  Yeah, I needed a tissue or two; I felt absolutely awful for Josh at that point.

Of course, even being able to sympathize for Josh McKinley doesn't undo the crazy he subjected his team to, and the damage to Nuts and Bolts was done.  It was interesting to see how each team member reacted to the obvious toppling of their union.  Becky and Bert resigned themselves to simply going with the flow and trying to avoid another smackdown with Josh, Laura tried to be a team player and appeased Josh at every corner, critiqued their designs in the hopes they wouldn't completely screw themselves over, asked Bert for his input to make him feel involved, and still used some of the god-awful fabric on her own garment in a demonstration of solidarity - even though she scoffed at the idea of clocks as their theme.  Meanwhile, Kimberly tried to stay as far away from the other designers and their designs as possible, completely ignoring every fight, every discussion, and every original fabric, hilariously stating, "I am not using any of the textiles because... I do not like them."  Yep, Laura Kathleen and Kimberly were definitely the two bolts in this group - Laura bolted into the fire and Kimberly bolted away from it.  

In the end, Team Chaos put together a cohesive and visually interesting collection that was well-constructed both thematically and technically.  Team Nuts and Bolts assembled a haphazard collection with a weird color palette, three bad prints, and about as much cohesion as disassembled puzzle.  It was amazing how drastically polarized these two groups were both in process and product.  Their videos even reflected their differences.  Chaos made a video that was well thought-out in both purpose and theme - they chose isolated images of movement and disorder and then mirrored them in a kaleidoscope effect that a) mimicked the original idea of ink blots, and b) made it so that the video didn't draw focus from the clothes.  It was sophisticatedly given second fiddle, as it should have been.

Meanwhile, Team Nuts and Bolts, under the helm of Joshua, had repeated images of a woman's legs getting out of cabs in fancy shoes.  Poor Laura had to act it out over and over again, before realizing that hey, maybe filming a clock would be a good idea.  Putting those two images together just tried to create a story out of the wrong part of their fashion show, and ultimately drew focus from the garments walking down the runway.  There were legs walking everywhere, and everything on the video screen was much too literal and upfront to be a background.  They'd have been better off just getting extreme close-ups of clock hands moving, which would have created an interesting tension or anxiety, even if it probably would have resulted in more "bad energy" (as per Michael Kors) considering the clothes they had made.  There was no poetry in their design, only inquietude.

As for the garments themselves, the judges basically raved for all but Bryce's and loathed all but Kim's - even though the length was too short.  Viktor created an interesting ink blot gown with a high slit, which honestly garnered more praise than I expected.  I think I have a subtle bias against that kind of silhouette on the torso, though, because it reminds me of the late 90s, what I would wear as a sixth-grader who needed to dress up for something.  (Going somewhere, obviously, Joshua.)  But I did love the ink blot detail as well as the drama of the slit.  Bryce's shorts-and-shirt combo wasn't nearly the weak link the judges made it out to be - the shorts were super cute, and I appreciated the construction of the two fabrics together, with the solid black line on the pockets.  I also didn't gush over Olivier's masterpiece jacket as much as the judges, but I recognize totally that it was ridiculously well-made.  The design just wasn't my cup of tea, from the leggings upward.

I particularly loved Anthony Ryan's design, mostly in that it combined the really interesting three-hash print with the ink blot print and threw in a little color in the form of an ascot.  It was fresh and unusual, but not unwearable.  But I think my favorite of Team Chaos was Anya's.  She mixed the two prints together flawlessly, without putting any breaks between them, and the two bits of entropy merged harmoniously.  I loved the detail on the black cap sleeves, and the square back that echoed in everyone's design - and that it was edged with a little strip of black fabric as well.  I was glad Anya won, even though it seemed like she nabbed the victory because Bryce was the only one who didn't vote for himself.  (Oh, Bryce.  I wanted to hug you in that moment.  I'd wear those shorts!  Don't let the judges get you down.)

Team Nuts and Bolts was a disaster down the line, and I'm not sure what possessed Laura Kathleen to make a royal blue jumpsuit.  Bert's dress was mostly terrible due to the unwieldiness of that cog print, but it really was an awkward length and tired design as well.  Becky's was pretty basic, even if she did make the skirt three times, and Kimberly's suffered from simply being associated with the rest of them.  Joshua's was messy looking, and chaotic in a bad way.  And, as Michael Kors noted, "Not a lot of women want 'canceled' on their crotch."  Y'know, "delayed" and "on time" aren't really great either, mostly in that it brings to mind the worry of wondering whether or not you may be pregnant.  

But, truly, all three prints were bad.  (Thanks Nina, for laying it out so bluntly!)  I mean, you know it's not good when Rose Byrne says that she would "run in fear" from one of your textiles.  But still, I just don't get why Team Nuts and Bolts designed off the most basic, literal concepts - numbers!  Words!  Symbols!  I don't want to watch a runway show where I'm trying to read the model's pants because there are very clearly words on them, and yet my attention is being drawn to the very blatant video that I'm pretty sure is trying to tell me a story.  But in the end neither the pants nor the video are telling me anything and I'm using a lot of brain power trying to figure out this lackluster concept that's swallowed its own tail and dead-ended.  It's ironic, because there was no mystery to the straightforwardness of the design, yet it was a complete mystery as to what they were actually trying to suggest with all these choices.

After the Nuts and Bolts bloodbath, it was down to Josh and Becky as most culpable for the collection's shortcomings, and Becky got das boot.  But honestly, it seemed as though another in-perspective decision were made about Josh and Becky as designers.  Because Josh completely disrupted his team this week, whereas Becky simply tried to make it work and do what she was told.  Joshua has just performed better than Becky at this point, and was kept around to continue to showcase his designs - er, deliver his product, as he put it.  Regardless, I felt bad for Becky leaving, and hope the experience of working under Josh's thumb hasn't left her bitter.  As for Josh, I'm banking on him putting a swear jar in the workroom next week.  I expect great things from Bert's first uttered f-word!

"The Art of the Matter" - Project Runway Recap

Friends!  I'm back with another delinquent Project Runway recap.  After last week's team-challenge-slash-bloodbath, all the designers seemed to be happy to call a truce and play nicely this week.  Bert and Anthony Ryan shelved their "you're lying/no you are" confrontation, and Anya declared a clean slate was good for everybody.  Which was particularly welcome for this week, because if everybody kept their claws out I would have been likely to shriek "Not in front of the children!" at my screen.  Because this week involved kids!

That's right, Heidi announced to the designers that they were going to go back to the classroom for this challenge, and honestly all I could really wonder was if Heidi sits in front of a mirror and practices being mysterious and coy.  Because her vague, "I know something you don't know" eye-twinkling charm is practically an art form.  Which, as it turns out, connects strongly to the actual challenge she twinkled about.

This week, the designers teamed up with young art students from the Harlem School of the Arts to create an avant garde look inspired by their kids' paintings.  Normally, on Project Runway, kids are a death knell in almost any challenge.  Designing for them, designing with them - it's usually a disaster, and everyone knows it.  Especially Viktor, who declared, "Working with children!  ...how cute is that," with the most deadpanned monotone he could muster.

But even Viktor couldn't resist the charms of these adorably artistic teenagers, most of whom spoke with such genuine thoughtfulness it was hard to believe they were anywhere from 11 to 17 years old.  Laura Kathleen in particular got sage words from her partner Kai, who, when told about LK's disastrous performance last week, simply offered the bon mots: "Failure is opportunity in disguise."  Now, I'm pretty sure Kai wasn't the first person to say this, but hell, even if she read it on the inside of a chocolate wrapper, I was still damn impressed she had the wisdom to retain it and offer it up to Laura honestly with actual helpful intent.  Turns out Laura was too - she asked the eleven-year-old if she could have her phone number so Kai could talk her through her problems.  Hee!

Meanwhile, Viktor's partner Skyy, an open-minded and free-speaking self-declared New Yorker, completely disarmed Viktor with her forwardness, and then won him over by episode's end.  How adorable was it to see Viktor go from "I'm never having kids" to his little fist pump when he found out Skyy would be at the runway show with him?  What a cute little transformation.

In truth, every single one of those kids was absolutely delightful, and I loved that they got to be involved in a collaborative creative process - and taken seriously.  No kid was made fun of or marginalized, and every designer seemed to have a significant amount of respect for their younger counterparts.  But really, it'd be hard not to.  Each piece of art was well-done and fascinating, and each kid understood artistry enough to give thoughtful criticism while still letting their designer interpret the original work the way they thought best.  

Of course, some interpretations were too literal, which is always the risk when it comes to interpreting an art source and applying it to a dress form in fabrics and stitches.  In the instance of Josh Christensen, he was given a rather raw and feral depiction of a wolf, which begged the question: to faux fur or not to faux fur?  (I ask myself this very query every morning when I consult my wardrobe.  No, I'm kidding.  I don't.  I go straight for the faux fur without any hesitation.)  Or in the case of Anya's and Kimberly's birds, how many feathers takes it from avant garde to full-blown Halloween costume?  (I hear Heidi wants to be a hooker this year!)

These were tough decisions the designers had to make, and most of them navigated these treacherous waters with panache.  And there seemed to be a certain leniency in the fact that this was art and interpretation, not just design choices and taste levels.  I mean, how else could Bert get off with a "kudos, but meh" for an outfit that Michael Kors deemed fit for a party-going Teletubby?  Actually, I got a text from my sister that claimed the pants in particular looked like "Humpty took a dumpty in them" which, I must say, may out-quip Mr. Kors this week.  My sister, ladies and gentlemen.

Actually, Michael Kors got some quality onscreen co-snarking with the addition of Zanna Roberts Rassi to the panel, filling in for Nina Garcia, who I'd like to imagine was frolicking around Central Park in Kimberly's outfit, waiting for the sun to set so she could verify that it does indeed translate well from day to night!  (Shh, don't ruin this image for me.)  Zanna actually proved to be just as verbally adroit as Michael - Kors declared wearing Bert's outfit would "look like you're having Baby #5," and Zanna sharply returned, "No, you are Baby #5!"  I thought Michael Kors was going to topple over in his director's chair from the pure giddiness of interacting with someone who could keep up with him in the Snark Department.  

In the bottom with Bert this week was Olivier, who, poor thing, seems to be deflating faster than Bert's pants in a cactus garden.  Describing himself as "lost" and "confused," Olivier used two colors where his painting used at least five, and tried to glue his bodice to his model, which is actually against the rules.  Oh dear.  Michael Kors summed it up perfectly - not in describing Olivier's style as "Valium clothes," but in describing Olivier as too "afraid to be powerful."  I found that incredibly sad.  I want Olivier to come back next week and knock one out of the park!  It's so upsetting to see designers lose their identity and creative spark over the course of the competition, and I don't want sweet little Olivier to fall victim to that pattern.  

Of course, there was really no saving Josh Christensen, who was back for a second go of things, and still seemed to make some questionable design choices.  From what I can tell, Anthony Ryan is right: this guy's design process is just not refined enough.  He understood the source material perfectly, but seemed to lose it in translation and couldn't really find his way.  I felt bad for the guy, to be eliminated twice, but he handled it with grace and charm, and really, his garment was just not representative of the animalism of that wolf.

In the top this week were Josh McKinley, Anthony Ryan and Laura Kathleen, the latter two I might have to refer to as the Double-Named Southern Charm Wonder Twins.  It was nice they were Comeback Kids this week too, after they basically imploded in tandem during the last challenge.  Laura Kathleen's dress mixed hard and soft beautifully, and flowed well on the runway.  Plus, she taught us about burning the edges of silk to stop it from fraying - and informed us, a bit too casually, that she used to burn her Barbie dolls.  I worry that this could be some sort of self-loathing ritual because, well... Laura Kathleen kind of looks like a Barbie doll.

Josh McKinley had trouble with the challenge this week, very gracelessly exclaiming, "What the hell is inspiring on this canvas?!"  Josh McKinley likes shiny and bedazzled, and that organic tree just wasn't doing it for him.  But he definitely made it work, and found elements he could translate with genuine emotion, from the burnt tree to the fiery top to his mom's initials "carved" on the skirt.  I agree with Michael Kors (so much this week!) that a slicked-back 'do and little makeup would have sold the look even more, but I definitely commend the outfit.  And Josh's readjusted attitude this week!  He plainly told Bert that his look was one of his favorites, even after last week's little tiffs, and I was glad once again that the drama was on the shelf for this go-around.

The win ended up going to Anthony Ryan, who, as he put it, is "finally a bride."  His interpretation of an expressive but simple double self-portrait was unique and chaotic, but put-together.  I was so glad to see AR get the win (I still think he and his birdseed dress were robbed!) after the work he's done so far, and last week's stumble.  

Rounding out the middle were Anya, Becky, Viktor, Bryce, and Kimberly, the last of whom I think may have also been robbed of a place in the top.  I loved her asymmetrical look that combined soft feathers with hard leather, topped off with a severe drama about the whole thing.  I say Kimberly is this year's dark horse contestant.  She's won a challenge, yes, but there's still not a lot of recognition there despite the one-two punch of creative design skills and smart editing choices.  Kimbo and her talent are flying under the radar for sure!  I wouldn't be terribly surprised if she made it to Fashion Week.

Alright gang, which kid's painting was your favorite?  I found myself partial to Wu Qing's self-portrait for Anthony Ryan, and Tonyalee's creation for Olivier.  I only wish Olivier had done it more justice - it was so vibrant and energetic!  Maybe next week Olivier can embody that attitude and exert some power on the runway.  Meanwhile, I hope everyone continues to play nice, and oh - keep Laura Kathleen away from your Barbie dolls!