10 Things: Advice for Smash Season 2

After analyzing Bunheads' first season in an effort to suggest improvements  for its sophomore year, I've decided to do the same for another newcomer: Smash.  Now, I reviewed Smash during its freshman run, and found my enjoyment of it to be sporadic and sometimes conditional.  I love the concept of this show, but the first season succumbed to a lot of poorly-constructed drama that took precedence over character development.  For every amazing musical number, there was usually at least one sloppy writing decision that muted the characters' potential.  So, for Season 2, I'd love to see the show work out its kinks and come back strong!  Here's some ideas as to how.

10.  Keep it on Broadway.  In Season 1, Smash gave a big storyline to Karen's boyfriend Dev and his Wall Street job.  Or was it a government job?  All I know is he wore a suit and had career drama.  Whole scenes happened completely untethered from the Broadway environment, and we were expected to actually care about a character whose circumstances were entirely peripheral to the core focus of the show.  And no one did.  (Taxes?  Did he work with money?)  Piece of advice: this is a show about Broadway.  Everything should tie back to the theah-tuh.  

9.  Let the characters be good at their jobs.  Most characters on Smash are supposed to be Broadway veterans: esteemed playwrights, songwriters, directors, producers, dancers, or actors.  These people are successful creative types!  Why not show them being good at their jobs?  The narrative often skips straight to the end result without showing us any of the journey.  We know Julia is struggling with lyrics, but we don't see her have any real breakthroughs, and then suddenly the lyrics are in place and being sung perfectly on stage.  Why not show how Julia maneuvers through the creative process, and let us feel the reward of a successful problem overcome?  (Showing Julia successful at work also solves another problem: it redirects focus from her terrible family life, where the writers refuse to let that lady catch a break.)

8. Stop screwing around with Bombshell.  How much more can this show's changes take the front seat in the narrative?  We've seen nearly every incarnation of the Marilyn musical up until Previews - a modern update, shadow Marilyns, and a revolving door of leading ladies.  Of course, it makes sense that changes will happen while workshopping a show.  But now that Bombshell is in Boston and doing well?  How much more screentime can we devote to the musical itself?  It's a tricky question; especially considering that Smash's best creativity comes in the form of Bombshell's original numbers.  But surely there aren't a whole slew of new Bombshell songs that we've yet to hear, and somehow we're meant to spend the whole next season with the same musical.  So the best option is to take focus off the show itself, and put it on the people running it.  With more character-based storylines, this won't be a big sacrifice - in fact, it'll make the drama stronger.

7. Be stingier and more purposeful with the romance.  In Season 1, Julia had an affair, Tom had two love interests, Derek slept with Ivy and Rebecca Duvall in rapid succession, and Dev cheated on Karen with RJ and then with Ivy.  Every pairing rose and fell in a disastrously haphazard fashion, and suddenly this show had tangled every character up in shallow romance drama.  Note to writers: it's about quality, not quantity.  Sure, it may seem like great sudsy drama to cross wires so many times, but really, it relies on solid writing.  And hardly any of Smash's romantic entanglement make sense.  It's impossible to like any couple on the show, simply because the writers are squandering any purpose with the relationships and instead putting them together only to blow them apart.  And guess what?  When there's no effort invested in building the relationships, the audience doesn't care when they blow apart.  Yawn, snooze; it's hard to sympathize with broken hearts when we don't understand their motivations.

6. Do right by your ladies.  It's almost inarguable: the female ensemble on this show is phenomenal.  There's no shortage of talent in the ranks of Megan Hilty, Katharine McPhee, Debra Messing, and Anjelica Huston, and beyond that, their characters all have the potential to be well-developed and fully-realized.  And yet, Smash only treats two of those characters reasonably well, and seriously mishandles three of the four.  It is absolutely maddening to know what possibilities exist with these ladies, only to repeatedly witness Karen, Ivy, and Julia completely deprived of any agency in their storylines.  What's worse, Ivy and Julia in particular can't seem to catch a break in their arcs, and get crapped on week after week from sloppy writing choices.  It's annoying, and therefore should be no surprise to the showrunners that their male counterparts were so unlikeable to the audience.  Michael Swift, Ellis, Dev, and Frank are all set to make their exits from the show, which is ultimately a welcome turn of events for the female characters.  I can only watch Julia get guilt-tripped by three different men for so long.  Good riddance!

5. Introduce more POC.  Unfortunately, with the removal of Dev and Ellis from the cast, Smash's representation of POC will rest solely on the shoulders of secondary character Sam.  So let's bring a little diversity into the ensemble, shall we?  They've already hired Jennifer Hudson, which is a damn good start.  And Karen is also set to get a new roommate in Krysta Rodriguez.  Keep this going!  The Great White Way should not be represented literally.  (And while I'm asking for diversity, can we get an LGBTQ lady?  Smash has done wonderfully with gay male characters... any chance we can balance that out with a gay woman?  Just a thought.)

4.  Let Ivy win a few.  Ivy Lynn is, hands-down, the best character on this show.  I will go to the mat on that one.  She's driven, ambitious, and immensely talented.  She's been paying her dues in the chorus for years, waiting for her moment in the spotlight.  She has a complicated relationship with her mother, a former Broadway star quicker to criticize than compliment, and part of Ivy's drive for success directly connects to the desire to make her mother proud.  And ultimately, she's monumentally insecure, which often leads to her being petty, spiteful, sharp-tongued, desperate to please, and incredibly relatable.  But Smash really only manifests Ivy's flaws into bad decisions and unlikeable actions, and never rewards her strengths.  She's repeatedly crapped on by the narrative, and then when Megan Hilty flawlessly sings a heartbreaking solo, we're left wondering if the show means for us to feel for Ivy this much.  Regardless of intent, please, treat her less like a villain and more like a hero.  Let her win a few.  A huge swath of the audience loves her, flaws and all.

3. Give Karen a backbone.  For some reason, Smash is really insistent on portraying Karen as the wide-eyed Iowa girl trying to make it big in the city, and it's ultimately to the character's detriment.  Don't get me wrong; it's a fine starting point, but that's really all it is: a starting point.  It's a stereotype.  Why not dimensionalize Karen Cartwright?  She's not just the naive girl who might be too soft for the big city.  And that doesn't mean she has to show signs of hardness or bitchiness, either.  Just let her have a backbone!  Let her stand up for herself!  Let her be self-confident!  It's a great way to make the character pop off the page and away from the stereotype, and Katharine McPhee does great with those moments.  Basically, I want Karen to be strutting her stuff to "Redneck Woman" all the time.

2. For the love of humanity, quit it with this Ivy vs. Karen nonsense and make them friends.  Just do it.  I know it's a central conflict of the show but I'm tired of it - especially because it plays on two levels.  There's the ideological opposition between Ivy and Karen as performers, which gets discussed endlessly, and that bleeds over into actual opposition between Ivy and Karen as people.  This constant polarity between the two women is tiresome.  The whole point is that they're both great!  They have similarities, they have differences.  And there have been so many opportunities for these characters to relate to one another, but the narrative purposefully shrugs them away in favor of isolating the ladies in competition - both romantically and professionally.  Boo!  I'm over women-at-odds storylines.  Show me Ivy and Karen learning that they like one another, and supporting one another.  Show me that they can transcend the expectation that they'll hate one another!  Show me that there's mutual benefit in their being friends!  Of course, that's not to say that their relationship can't be complicated.  All the better if it is!  Any competition conflict becomes 10x stronger and more compelling when it's built on a real relationship with real flaws and strengths.  I'm all for nuanced lady dynamics.  And that's what the Ivy-Karen interaction has thus far lacked: nuance.  Final argument: Katharine McPhee and Megan Hilty give Debra Messing and Christian Borle a run for their money in the chemistry department.  Why not let them show it?


1. Let the characters propel the drama.  Ultimately, this is the key to Smash being sustainably successful.  Develop the characters individually, with strengths and flaws, and let them interact with one another - for better and for worse.  Let there be real friendships.  Let there be differences of opinion.  Let there be emotions involved, and tough decisions made.  Conflict will come naturally when character interactions are at the wheel, and Smash is in desperate need of character livelihood.  These are real people with wants and needs, not just stage props for sudsy relationship drama.  If Smash expects to hold onto viewers beyond their flashy musical numbers, they need the characters to be developed, organic, and in charge of their storylines.

10 Things: Advice for Bunheads Season 2

Last night marked the season finale for ABC Family's Bunheads, after a 10-episode summer run.  While reception for the show has been largely reduced to comparing it to Gilmore Girls and complaining about whitewashing (somewhat rightfully, on both counts), there hasn't been a lot of discussion about the show's actual merits.  For me, it's had a promising and well-written first season, despite a few misguided decisions here and there, and I was excited to hear it was renewed for a second season.  This is a glorious opportunity to continue what worked in Season 1 and redirect what wasn't as effective!  And of course, I have opinions.  So, here is a list of ten pieces of advice for a strong Season 2 of Bunheads.

10. Fewer town antics.  This isn't Stars Hollow!  While spreading kookiness over a whole supporting cast worked well for Gilmore Girls, I don't think Bunheads benefits from the same approach.  If nothing else, it just reminds us of Gilmore, and on top of the snappy dialogue, pop culture references, and Kelly Bishop's lovely presence, it can be a little much.  Especially when it's not even necessary!  Bunheads has its own laurels it can rest on.  So while Paradise is certainly allowed to have its quirks (but not its Kirks), there is so much interesting - and undeveloped - material for the actual main characters.  We've gotten hints of tragic flaws and fascinating character development for not only Michelle, but also Fanny, Sasha, Truly, and Boo.  Why take time away from actually progressing that by giving it away to passing townspeople we don't really care about?  (Seriously.  I still don't understand why Sebastian the Award-Winning Coffee Man was necessary.  Except to make Michelle care about coffee and getting a new grocery store.  And I don't really understand why that was necessary either.)

9. More from Sasha.  Now, I'm not talking blue-haired, cheerleading, acting-out Sasha.  The main issue with Sasha in Season 1 was simply that we never saw much from her point of view.  So it was easy to hate on her, because the audience didn't quite get the opportunity to see what was making her tick.  And we still don't know!  Michelle got Sasha to return to ballet class fairly easily, but we never really knew exactly why she left in the first place.  At some point, we need to get a glimpse into Sasha's head, and even if we don't know exactly why she's making the (sometimes bad) decisions she makes, we at least need to see her make them, and understand her on some level.  In the meantime, I'm filling in all the blanks I can, because the fact of the matter is that Sasha is a really great character and leaving her undeveloped is a wasted opportunity.  It's obvious there is a lot going on behind her prickly exterior, but we're only scratching the surface.  She is often a bitch with a sharp tongue, but she's also suffering a crappy home life, and is kind to her friends - Boo in particular - when it counts.  Seeing the contrast between hard and soft and when each trait manifests itself (and why) is the whole point of delineating a character like Sasha, and that's the issue thus far: we're not seeing it.  I'm hoping we'll begin to in Season 2.

8. No more Charlie.  I don't understand how this teenage boy singlehandedly (and unwittingly) unraveled two friendships with hardly any screentime worth mentioning.  Charlie drama seemed to lurk around all of the younger girls' storylines during the season, and I found it incredibly difficult to care about him when he seemed only to be the hot and douchey brother plot device.  It didn't go anywhere with Boo, it didn't go anywhere with Ginny, and it activated all kinds of petty behavior in at least four characters, all of whom I'd rather see doing something else.  Worse yet, the actor, Zak Henri, seems to have the most chemistry with Emma Dumont, who, unfortunately, plays his sister.  It might be most graceful if he just takes his exit.

7. While we're on the topic, let's just say this: less boy drama altogether.  Now, I realize that since this show effectively has two, arguably four, female leads, with four, arguably five, female supporting characters, we might need a little testosterone in the mix.  And that's fine!  This isn't a No Boys Allowed treehouse.  But at the same time, I have little invested in a revolving door of random high school love interests for these girls - especially if it's supplanting more interesting storylines for them that could play out independent of boy trouble.  There's plenty that can be done to explore Boo, Sasha, Melanie, and Ginny individually!  Beyond that, there's always interactions together in countless permutations amongst them.  (Okay, not countless.  Ten.  But that's still a lot.)  And if we're going to bring in love interests, at least make them interesting!  At least make them three-dimensional!  And at least make them interact with their female counterparts in unique, likeable, and specific ways.  With a Boo-Karl romance finally happening and a potential Sasha-Boy-Version-of-Sasha (okay, fine, Roman) dynamic on the horizon, I'm hoping Bunheads can meet that criteria.

6. More dance numbers.  Okay, I could be in the minority on this.  Bunheads has thus far endeavored a handful of proper dance sequences for the show, and reception seems to be split between love and hate.  But I, frankly, shuffle (and tap) into the love category - as long as the numbers are relevant.  I don't want there to be dance numbers simply because this is a show set in the world of dance.  I want there to be dance numbers because it is an organic way to communicate meaningful moments and character emotions.  How great was Michelle's "Maybe This Time" sequence, or Sasha's "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" routine?  While the latter may have been more dense and less emotionally revealing than the former, both served to underscore important moments for the characters in question.  To me, that's an awesome way to employ your dance setting, and I hope to see Bunheads do more of it.

5. More Truly!  Maybe I just want more Stacey Oristano (viva FNL!) on my screen, especially when she's playing the exact opposite of her Friday Night Lights character.  But Truly is a pitch-perfect foil for Michelle.  Bunheads likes to boomerang Michelle into Fanny's world, where she is often too spastic, and incompetent, or the girls' world, where she sometimes becomes that embarrassing adult whose jokes go over your head.  But with Truly, someone her own age?  Michelle's lightheartedness is good for her, and Truly doesn't ever dismiss it like the others.  Not only that, but Truly is already fascinating unto herself, in her hopeless love for Hubbell, and her ability to do for others but not for herself.  I just want to give the girl a hug.  And more screentime.

4. Bring in a WOC.  Of course, this is a rather famous request, owing to Shonda Rhimes' tweet asking for a black ballerina.  Then everything got blown out of proportion, natch, and I find myself sighing over the controversy, and paying attention, rather bitterly, to the non-white background dancers.  So why not just bring one to the foreground?  It's not like we can't have new characters, especially if they are well-developed, likeable, and round out the diversity.  And it doesn't have to be token casting: just make her important, three-dimensional, and involve her with the main storylines - and we're good.

3. Show Michelle with the kids!  So far in Season 1, we got little glimpses of Michelle interacting with Boo, Sasha, Melanie, and Ginny, but the show seemed reluctant to wholeheartedly swing Michelle into complete Teacher Mode.  Which is fine; Michelle herself is resistant to becoming a dance teacher and mentor for kids, and it'd be perhaps too heavyhanded to cleanly make Michelle a successful teacher in smalltown California, while easily shelving her original showbiz dreams.  (Especially when there's such good internal conflict there.)  But at the same time, Bunheads purposefully put Michelle in a teaching role, and made her pretty influential to Boo and Sasha in particular.  With Sasha, the show seems to be drawing a strong connection to Michelle, with the idea that Michelle gains Sasha's hard-earned respect by showing a rather adult-like backbone.  But even though Michelle was the one to convince Sasha to return to ballet, we never saw much preamble for that decision, especially considering their t-shirt stealing and shouting match that was never resolved.  Then, in the finale, Bunheads tried to pay this off with Sasha hauling out a momentous "O Captain My Captain" for Michelle, in reference to Dead Poets Society.  Don't get me wrong; I teared up with the best of them, seeing that Sasha was the first one to lay out a huge gesture of appreciation and support for Michelle.  But if that was the whole point, then why not take a more direct path there?  So my advice to Season 2 is this: don't be scared of showing Michelle in a mentor position.  Michelle's the one that's scared of that, not us.

2.  More Fanny!  It seems as though Bunheads might be flirting with the notion of reducing Fanny's role on the show, and I'm not quite sure why.  Every time Fanny mentions handing over classes to Michelle, or moving to Montana, a little bit of panic rises in my chest, and I want to shout at the TV screen but we hardly even know you!  With the scant and dwindling screentime, Fanny can occasionally slip into just the one dimension: tyrannical ballet teacher.  She has almost no real developed relationships with her students, and she rarely expresses sympathy towards, well, anyone.  Let's flesh this lady out, shall we?  Her back story is fascinating and tragic: she gave up a ballet career to raise a family, and now her only family has been taken away from her permanently.  For as much as Michelle is an awash-at-sea character, so is Fanny.  Don't let us forget that!

1.  Ultimately, though, the big takeaway is this: let the characters and their interactions rule the show.  Bunheads is a rare breed of television show that doesn't require a lot of complicated plot, simply because the characters are strong, complicated, and intertwined enough to create conflict on their own.  Relationship drama is key.  This entire thing can rest easily on the shoulders of Michelle and Fanny, by virtue of their constructed circumstance and characters, and the friction that goes along with them being inherently similar and different, in turn.  Beyond that, there are strong characters in Truly, Boo, Sasha, and even, with a little work, Melanie and Ginny.  In allowing these ladies their individual storylines and objectives, and giving them opportunity to disagree with and support one another in turn, you hardly need anything else.  Except those pop culture references.

10 Things: the 2012 Grammy Performances

My relationship with the music industry is about an inch deep and a mile wide, so I don't usually get excited about the Grammy awards.  But, after the untimely passing of Whitney Houston, I sat down for the show just to see Jennifer Hudson's tribute - and got sucked into the entire show.

Really, the Grammys aren't truly an awards show.  Yes, they hand out awards, but at essence: they are the coolest concert you could possibly go to in the current year.  They stage performance after performance, that compile old acts and new, honoring music history as well as indulging in the jams that fancy today's populace.  For that reason, they are actually entertaining to watch, and I found myself glad I tuned in.  So, let's talk ten of the acts from last night:

I. Jennifer Hudson honoring Whitney Houston

This was the reason I was there, and it did not disappoint.  It was a touching tribute by one of the only women today who can rival Whitney's vocals - but the best part about it was that she didn't try and imitate Ms. Houston in the slightest.  Instead, every note resonated simply, and hung heavy in the air with gravitas.  Even Whitney's big vocal moments translated to a gravelly crying out of pain, and watching Jennifer Hudson summon all her resolve to not break down on stage was heartbreaking.  This was basically a perfect tribute, and kudos to J. Hud for not only the vocal but for also making it through without crying.  A+ 

II. Coldplay and Rihanna

When you hear that Coldplay and Rihanna are teaming up, it's an immediate hook, line, and sinker.  These are two different genres, two different kinds of musicians - what sort of amazing synthesis are they going to create?  Well, they only overlapped a little with a stripped-down performance of "Princess of China," and it all kind of blew away anyways with Rihanna tearing up "We Found Love."  It still boggles my mind how anthemic that song is, and I'm pretty sure you could've powered the Staples Center on the amount of electricity the performance generated.  As for Coldplay, they delivered a predictable piece of sublime melancholy, and I confess that my attention wandered.  B+

III. Nicki Minaj and the exorcism of Roman

Oh, Nicki.  This, of course, is the one everyone's talking about - and not in a good way.  Bogged down with overt Catholic symbolism and an unnecessary narrative, "Roman Holiday" left a sour taste in most people's mouths, and I can't say I'm not one of them.  Obvious comparisons between this inflated showmanship with Adele's stripped-down tour de force don't help the matter.  I love Nicki, but I love her for her talent first - especially when she's such a rarity in the music industry.  She's a successful lady rapper!  I wish she had just gone up there and torn a song apart the way she's clearly capable of, without any of the controversial distractions.  Curse you, Roman!  D 

IV. Glen Campbell and "Rhinestone Cowboy" 

This performance came on the heels of the Band Perry and Blake Shelton paying homage to the legendary Glen Campbell, who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and dedicated himself to living out the rest of his days performing for as long as he can.  It wasn't hard to forgo tissues, though, seeing how joyful a performance "Rhinestone Cowboy" was.  Perhaps the best tribute was seeing everyone onstage singing along, because they loved the song and knew all the words.  A 

V. Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean

First things first: I love this duet!  It's a nice break from the anthemic girl power tracks that load Kelly Clarkson's album (although I love those too) and even better to hear Kelly's voice showcased in a different genre.  Confining her to pop/rock is a disservice to her abilities!  That being said, the sound guys had it in for this one, as Kelly's mic messed up at the beginning, and Jason Aldean's cut out completely during the climax of the song.   Even despite that, the harmonies alone were worth the listen.  Also, Jason Aldean's hat was intense.  B+

VI. Adele's return

This, alongside the Whitney tribute, was what everyone was waiting for.  We all knew the story: Adele had to be silenced earlier this year and have surgery to remove a benign but hemorrhaging polyp on her vocal chords.  And the 2012 Grammys would be her first live performance since the successful surgery.  Oh, the anticipation!  In the end, she delivered a fantastic rendition of "Rolling in the Deep," and even though she seemed hesitant to strain herself at the start, she loosened up towards the end, and everyone in the audience gave a collective sigh of relief that the most compelling voice to emerge in recent history wouldn't be deprived a future.  (They threw in six Grammys for good measure.)  A+

VII. Chris Brown did something presumably less offensive than physical abuse

Yeah, I'm including him just to make the point that I didn't watch it.  Putting Chris Brown onstage for people to cheer for him is just not something I want to witness, or support.  So, I turned it to Rush Hour 3 and chuckled at Chris Tucker for a few minutes.  F    

VIII. Katy Perry

Katy Perry doubled up with two songs last night: "E.T." and "Part of Me."  Vocally, she sounded great, and I loved that she put two of her songs into the same piece, but I didn't really understand what the intention was with the set performance.  It attempted to be pyrotechnic, but stripped down, but with backup dancers, but with elaborate staging - and somehow didn't really achieve a cohesive version of any of those things.  Mostly, it left me confused.  Maybe singing two songs was therefore both the strength and weakness of this attempt.  C

IX. Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt honoring Etta James

This is what I love to see at the Grammys: two artists from different backgrounds coming together in one single performance.  Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt did a solid tribute to Etta James, equipped only with one piano, one guitar, and two great voices.  "Sunday Kind of Love" only sounds better when Etta's singing it, and that's how it should have been.  A

X. Bruno Mars

I confess, I'm not the biggest fan of Bruno Mars.  It's not that I don't like, I just don't really listen.  So I wasn't entirely sure what to expect with him last night.  But damn, did that man put on a show!  With a James Brown pompadour and moves like Elvis, his performance jump-started the Grammys and provided a great contemporary performance that tipped a hat to the past, showed off the present, and most of all - didn't overwork itself trying to show up Lady Gaga.  Of course, I couldn't tell you for the life of me what song Bruno sang, but I am happy to report that I was completely entertained for the duration of it.  A

10 Things I Love About "10 Things I Hate About You"

So, today's my birthday.  And in the spirit of doing absolutely nothing but the things you enjoy on such self-celebrating anniversaries, I have decided to watch my absolute favorite late-90s teen comedy: 10 Things I Hate About You.  Watching it now in my 20s, I must admit that I still unabashedly love this movie.  So without further ado, I present: 10 Things I Love About 10 Things I Hate About You.

X. Shakespeare!

It's based on The Taming of the Shrew!  They sneak in little Shakespearean lines, like when Cameron quotes, "I burn!  I pine!  I perish!"  Basically, this movie takes a rather erudite reference for a teen movie and crafts it into something that entertains and yet doesn't bastardize the original inspiration.  Petruchio becomes Patrick, Katherine becomes Katarina - Kat's last name (Stratford) comes from Shakespeare's birthplace, Patrick's (Verona) derives from the setting of Romeo and Juliet as well as the titular city in, well, The Gentlemen of Verona.  The high school is called Padua, the fictional town where Shrew takes place, and Kat's best friend is "involved" (a bit kooky, but sure!) with Mr. Shakespeare himself.  For a nerd like me, all of this adds up to one thing: delightful!  (We'll just ignore the fact that the tagline of "How do I loathe thee?" is actually a riff on Emily Barrett Browning and not Shakespeare, okay?  Okay!)

 IX. Allison Janney as Ms. Perky 

I cannot speak of this movie without mentioning Allison Janney's miniscule-but-memorable performance as the guidance counselor who scripts romance novels (or maybe just porn) at work.  Cameron, Patrick, and Kat all have brief sessions with Ms. Perky, but in each she's actively snarking and trying to come up with as many ways to describe a man's penis.  Never change, Ms. Perky.  Never change.

VIII. Kat and Bianca's dad 

Mr. Stratford is, in a word, divine.  His mama didn't raise no foo'.  Without him, we have no premise: he enforces strict dating rules on his daughters because he's up to his arms in placenta all day and knows all about those damn Dawson's River kids sleeping in each other's beds.  His dialogue is superb, his antics hilariously exaggerated ("I want you to wear the belly!") and yet, his relationship with his daughters is actually rather touching.  The writers gave him a sneaky back story in the idea that his wife left the family, and perhaps that's why he's controlling of Kat and Bianca's lives.  But at the end of the day, he only wants what's best for them, and is willing to shelve his overbearing nature to let Kat head to Sarah Lawrence for college.  Not only that, but that piece of information is cushioned in the most lovely scene where he reveals that he's proud of Kat's behavior, and just wishes he could be more a part of her life.  Aww. 

VII. the backstories

Speaking of back stories - both Patrick and Kat get lovely little back stories that help inform characters that run deeper than their (bad) reputations.  Patrick, it turns out, took care of his grandmother while she was sick in Australia, and simply doesn't fit in in American high school.  Kat, bless her, actually used to be fairly popular, even sleeping with Bad Boy Joey right after her mom left - only to regret it and start subscribing to the rule of meeting individual expectations instead of external ones.  Pretty good, right?  These histories help flesh out the characters and let them be real, instead of stock Teen Movie Tropes - the Frigid Girl who's "tamed" by the Seemingly-Bad-But-Actually-Good-Boy - and let's face it, no one likes a Teen Movie Trope.  Except for the people who make Not Another Teen Movie.

VI. Kat and Bianca's relationship

These sisters bitch and fight for a solid 80% of this movie.  They are technically very different.  But it's clear they love each other, especially by the third act.  Kat struggled with wanting to protect her baby sister but also let her make her own mistakes, and Bianca kneed an asshole in the crotch because he acted like a dick to Kat three years previous.  Kat caved when Bianca sincerely pleaded with her to go to Bogey Lowenstein's party because she knew how important it was to Bianca.  And oh, how much do I love that Bianca follows Kat out of prom and shares a look with Patrick, and checks up on Kat before going sailing with Cameron?  The movie does not forget that while these two are often at odds, they are still, first and foremost, sisters.

V. the couples

Rarely do I rhapsodize about a fictional couple - let alone two in the same movie!  But Patrick and Kat, and Cameron and Bianca make me squeal with emotion.  Patrick and Kat are clearly the older, more mature couple, and Cameron and Bianca are cutesy and innocent, but both are with their merits.  How much do I love that Pat and Kat (can I call them that?) squabble without being unlikeable, yet still have conversations that make them relatable and vulnerable?  They understand one another.  Swoon!  And oh!  When they slow dance to Letters to Cleo at prom!  They slow dance to a fast song, and I don't think you understand how much that makes me love them, because indeed, I am a crazy person. 

As for Cameron and Bianca, they're just damn cute.  Their French study sessions!  The fact that she genuinely does kind of fall for him!  His earnestness!  His chivalry!  He asks about her sister!  He calls her out on her princess bullshit!  She doesn't want him to see her room, or her underwear drawer!  And the way she kisses him... in the car!  It's all very, very darling.

IV. the dialogue

I could quote this entire movie.  That's how good the dialogue is.  And it's smart dialogue.  Characters are proven to be dumb/unlikeable or smart/likeable through the way that they speak.  Michael and Cameron are poetic and verbose, Kat is armed with a vicious vocabulary, and even Bianca spouts off triple-score words in an adorably intricate diction.  Only Patrick benefits from being taciturn and honestly-phrased, for the other characters who can't keep up are left to be villains or idiots.  Seriously, Joey Donner doesn't know the difference between "pensive" and "thoughtful" (or rather, that there is none, or at least, very little - wordsy people who want to dissect nuance!) and he is therefore unfit to be a Good Guy in this movie.  And the snob in me delights in that construct.

III. Kat Stratford, herself

Ladies and gentlemen, Katarina Stratford is my Queen.  She's such a lovely feminist character, in that she spouts bitter invectives about consumerism and the patriarchal society, and yet when it counts, she still has a heart.  She still goes to Bogey Lowenstein's party because her sister begs her in earnest, she still lets a guy serenade on the football field (if he must), she still flashes a teacher to get a friend out of detention, and she still gets up in front of the whole class and cries while she reads a poem.  Madam, you are lovely.  You eyeroll with the best of them, and while you snark with the vinegar of the briniest of bitches, you are still human, with strengths and flaws, and a beating heart.  Kat Stratford is a damn beautiful fictional creation.

II. Bianca Stratford

But let's not forget her little sister Bianca.  What I love about Bianca is that she changes.  The Bianca we see at the beginning of the movie, so in love with her Prada backpack and the sweet ride of a cute boy, is different from the Bianca at the end.  She doesn't make the same mistake that Kat did, she doesn't sleep with Joey Donner, and instead realizes that yes, indeed, he is massive tool.  And she does have feelings for Cameron!  Praise be!  The writing for Bianca is so stellar because, while in comparison to Kat, yes, she is a bit vapid and shallow and obsessed with popularity - but she is not stupid.  She still uses big words, grows exasperated by Joey's insistence on modeling in her presence, and even gets frustrated by Cameron's lack of asking her to prom.  And it's she, not Patrick or Cameron, who finally punches out Joey Donner, and in doing so, she seals her arc as a character who is no longer fooled by pretty faces and sweet words.  In all, she is just as much of a feminist character as Kat.  How lovely is that?  Bianca Stratford, you're the best.

I.  Kat's final speech

Is there a real need to explain this one?  There's not, but I will.  The thing that makes 10 Things I Hate About You so great is that it manages to be genuine, despite the scheming and the joking and the high school character tropes.  And no moment is more exemplary of this than Kat's poem (does it meet the requirements of a sonnet?  I'm too lazy to go and count up fourteen lines with the A-B what-nots...).  What's lovely is that the poem is a complete manifestation of the fact that while Kat pretends to hate a lot of things (in this case, Patrick) she actually does not.  And so it becomes a manifestation of not only her feelings for Patrick, but also a general character piece as well - perhaps why I can get on board with this coupling; Kat never loses her sense of self for this guy.  And it's cleverly communicated (words!) through a simple structure of intelligent irony mixed with late 90s teen mentality.  Julia Stiles' performance is spectacular, in the way that her voice cracks, and she kind of stumbles and reads the wrong line at first.  It's Katarina Stratford at her most vulnerable, more vulnerable than when she was drunk in the car, or dancing at prom, or talking about how she slept with the wrong boy at 14.

In short: it's pretty perfect.  As is this movie.  I think I could ramble on and on about a million more things I love (namely all the tall tales about Patrick's past - "Should you be drinking that when you don't have a liver?") but I shall refrain.  I still have an hour left of my birthday, and I'm a little whelmed.

10 Things: Tearjerking Fictional Moments

We've all cried at fiction at some point or another, right?  Whether it be a single tear gracefully cascading down our cheeks in the comfort of our own homes or the significantly more embarrassing movie theater sobbing that results in neck tears and concerned looks from strangers as you fruitlessly try to not squelch and sniffle and disturb fellow theatergoers, it's safe to say we've all been there.  

If you haven't cried at a movie or TV show, then... actually, I commend you.  You've saved yourself a lot of embarrassment, and clearly have great emotional resolve.  Alas, I am no such person.  So, I present you with my Top 10 Tearjerking Fictional Moments.  And, heads up - spoilers abound!  No one cries over insignificant plot points.

X. "The Book of Love" Montage, the Scrubs Finale

Okay, we're starting small here.  I didn't expect to get teary-eyed at this final episode, especially considering I had more or less tapered off in my Scrubs-watching consistency as the show wound down.  But I watched the finale, and was surprised to find myself sniffling at this montage, which gives perfect emotional resolution to the show's characters.  Take note - this is the only "happy tears" moment on this list!

IX.  Sad moment with dog, My Dog Skip

Okay, I haven't seen this movie since it first came out.  And I don't really remember what happened in the plot, or why I watched it.  All I know is that the damn dog had to go the hospital because it was sick or dying or something, and Frankie Muniz had treated him like crap earlier in the day so boy, did he feel like a dick when Skip turned up in dire condition at the vet's office.  And he tearfully pleaded with Skip to live or something and apologized for being such a bad owner.  Truthfully, as a viewer in my early teens, I felt rather emotionally manipulated by the filmmakers, and cursed the fact that I was weeping so easily at a dog movie with Frankie Muniz.  I still haven't lived this down.  (And I refuse to watch Old Yeller.  Or Charlotte's Web.  Animals dying?  No, thank you.)

VIII. First Christmas without Sybil, The Family Stone

If you thought this movie was a comedy, you would not be more wrong.  You'd be completely justified, because every single piece of promotional material released for it seemed to indicate that you'd be in for a jolly good holiday movie - but you'd still be wrong.  The truth is, The Family Stone is actually a sneaky tearjerker, wherein the matriarch of the family loses a battle to cancer.  The saddest part of all of it is that the movie constructs a parallel between mother (Diane Keaton) and daughter (Rachel McAdams) that hits us right in the gut when they show the family coming together again for their first Christmas without their mom, and decorating the tree.  Sybil may have died, but her traditions live on - right down to the bauble ring Amy wears on her index finger.  Oh, it gets me every time.

VII. Near-deaths in Crash

It's been years since I've seen Crash, but I distinctly remember having two very strong, tear-inducing gut reactions to the film.  The first of which is in the car crash scene where Matt Dillon's character saves the life of a woman he molested earlier in the film.  Like much of the movie, it's an intense scene, and I just remember being unable to keep from crying during it.  Of course, the second moment of tears is when Daniel's being held at gunpoint, only to have his daughter leap into his arms when the gun fires.  Instant.  Tears.  I still don't exactly understand the miracle of her not actually being shot, but I don't care.  The anguish on that father's face when he thinks his little girl was just killed in his arms... ugh.  Like I said, instant, unstoppable tears.

VI. Titanic

Yeah, I'll admit it: I cry at Titanic.  I don't know how you can't!  The events of that movie are seriously horrifying, and it's a well-done, emotionally exhausting film.  If you weren't crying at the part where the elderly couple tuck themselves into bed as the water rushes in around them, or at the "I'll never let go" scene, I guarantee you'll be weepy in the film's final moments: where the Titanic and its passengers are all resurrected to watch Jack take Rose by the hand and kiss her, one last time.

V.  Dobby's death, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pt. 1

"Dobby is with friends."  Do I need to say more?  This was the death scene that just kept on going.  I shed one of those graceful tears at first and was immediately relieved that I wasn't going to break down completely.  Oh, but I was apparently just getting started.  By the end of the scene, I was in full-on blubber mode, with tears streaming down my cheeks and into my shirt.  Dobby is a free elf, indeed.

IV.  Satine's death, Moulin Rouge 

I defy anyone to watch this movie, fully engrossed in the emotional highs and lows, and not cry when it suddenly slams into its final moments.  Christian and Satine overcame insurmountable obstacles, only to be trumped by the inevitability of natural death.  So much of the film is spent in exuberance, with heightened situations and vibrant characters - and to have it all come crashing down my something so small and organic just makes it all extremely painful.  As such, I'm usually dissolving into tears somewhere around the point where Satine starts singing "Come What May" to Christian as a last-ditch attempt to get him to stay, and completely losing it when he cries out in pain at her death. 

III.  Sun and Jin's deaths, Lost 

There came a point, while watching Lost, that I realized I cared so much more deeply about Sun and Jin than almost any other characters.  I think it happened somewhere around the time Jin was held captive and being shot at, and I screamed.  From that point forward, I pretty much knew that when it came to those two characters' combined happiness, I was somewhat fragile in my emotions.

So, imagine my reaction when the writers decided to drown them together in the show's last season.  It was bad.  You'd think that my tears were what was filling up that sinking submarine, because I was bawling like there was no tomorrow.  The idea that she was trapped and that he refused to leave her because his arc was about penance for being a bad husband to her and so he was never going to leave her again... oh goodness.  I have never cried at a television show like that before, and I don't think I ever will again.

II.  Maggie's paralysis and death, Million Dollar Baby 

I saw Million Dollar Baby in theaters, which was unfortunate, because I think my best friend thought something was wrong with me when I started machine-gun sobbing at some point in the third act.  Literally everything from Maggie's fall until the end of the movie causes me great pain - "fly there, drive back," Maggie biting her tongue, Frankie reading to Maggie, Maggie losing a leg, Maggie telling Frankie she doesn't want to forget what it sounded like to have a crowd cheering for her - seriously, everything.  And then Frankie finally tells her that the nickname he gave her means "my darling," and I'm basically in hysterics.  Usually after I finish watching this movie, I have to sit in silence for awhile and try to mop up the flood of tears that have run down my face and soaked my shirt collar.  Needless to say, I was the last one in the theater after it finished.

I.  the entirety of Steel Magnolias

Here's the thing.  Steel Magnolias may be the saddest movie you'll ever watch.  I mean, the entire third act is devoted to the dwindling life of the brightest little main character, whom we love and have spent the whole movie rooting for.  A few months ago, I woke up at 2 AM and couldn't sleep, so I turned on the TV.  Steel Magnolias was on, and it was right at the funeral scene where Sally Field has her emotional breakdown.  And I thought, "Oh, I'm not going to cry, because it's 2 AM and I have insomnia and so I'm a little cranky, and plus I didn't go on the full emotional journey of the movie; I just turned it on right now.  I'll be fine!"

Ha.  No, as soon as Sally Field opened her mouth, I dissolved into a puddle of wracking sobs and I bawled all the way until the Easter party, where I just hiccuped pathetically, trying to recompose myself and my erratic breathing.

I have since learned that the point at which you begin crying in Steel Magnolias will consistently move forward in the film until you're basically crying at the opening credits.  On repeat viewings, I don't just cry at Shelby's death.  I cry when Shelby and M'Lynn fight.  I cry when Shelby gets her bad haircut.  I cry when Shelby won't drink her juice.  Hell, I cry when Annelle is rolling into town for her first day at Truvy's, before the title card even shows up. 

In short: this movie will make you bawl, and the times you won't be crying, you'll be laughing at Ouiser and Clairee.  It's actually pretty perfect.  Just have a box of tissues handy - even if it's 2 AM and you can't sleep.

---

There you have it!  The pattern seems to be that character death, and/or drowning = eternal crying.  Let me hear it: what movies get you bawling like a baby?

CINEBLOGGO: Jurassic Park

So, if anyone happened to check my Twitter feed last night, you would have definitely caught on to the fact that I was watching Jurassic Park.  In fact, I was very close to live-tweeting the whole thing out of sheer joy, but I refrained because I figured that was a pretty easy way to lose all my followers.

Anyways, the point I'm trying to make here is that Jurassic Park is a damn near perfect movie.  I know it's probably trite to talk about Steven Spielberg being a genius, because really, his name is practically synonymous with genius after the career he's had, but - Steven Spielberg really is a storytelling genius.  And revisiting Jurassic Park only confirmed that.  It doesn't matter what story ol' Spielberg's telling.  It's always told masterfully.

So, without further ado, I'm taking DNA from CINEBLOGGO and crossing it with DNA from 10 Things to bring you a post called "10 TINY STORYTELLING DETAILS ABOUT JURASSIC PARK THAT MAKE IT BRILLIANT."  Hello John!

10. Grant asks, "Are you sure we're safe?"  Ellie replies, "Yes... unless they figure out how to open doors."  Now tell me you didn't get the worst attack of the heebie-jeebies when that velociraptor successfully used that door handle later on, hm?  I guarantee it gave you full-body goosebumps.  Genius setup, genius payoff.

9.  The music.  John Williams is a god.  That's all you need to know.  And past the fact that it's generally brilliant, the way in which it's used is brilliant.  It's used only to build, never to unfold.  When action is unfolding, like in the T-Rex rain scene, it's only diegetic sound (sound that is happening in the world onscreen that the characters can hear), never the score. 

8. There are two times when Dr. Grant expresses disbelief over the dinosaurs bred in the park.  The first is when he first sees the Brachiosaurus and asks about the speed.  He's dismayed that they have a T-Rex, and he stammers over it several times.  The second time, he's holding the hatchling and asks its species - velociraptor - and then makes a point to repeat the doctor's answer in shock.  And hey, which two species of dinosaur take center stage in the film's final act?  That would be the Tyrannosaurus Rex and the Velociraptor.  And we know exactly what to expect of them based on Grant's reactions. 

7. Another small detail in set up: when Dr. Grant finds out about the T-Rex, Hammond tells him it clocks in at 32 mph.  And that information is paid off nicely in the "Must go faster!" chase scene, where it's therefore believable that a vehicle could escape from that specific predator.  A tiny moment, but helpful for non-believers who may be taken out of the moment by wondering if that chase scene were even possible.

6. Dr. Grant's character arc.  He's given a lovely little bit of arc where it's set up that he hates kids, and forces him to be Protector to two kids in a truly terrifying setting.  He rises to the occasion swimmingly, and quiet moments like the "I-don't-think-he-saurus" scene give excellent payoff to the early examples of Grant being generally annoyed and intolerant of young people.

5.  Ian Malcom embodies the movie's entire premise.  His character exists simply to tell the audience EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN, and yet we're still surprised when it does.  Plus, Jeff Goldblum's such a kooky charmer, and he gets to wisecrack and talk to himself and hit on Ellie with his weird water droplet game.  Points all around.

4. When Lex gets in the car, the first thing she does is marvel over the interactive CD-ROM (!) and the built-in computer.  I'm sorry, who is it that's going to hack into the mainframe (that's a thing, right?) and solve all the problems in the final act?  That's what I thought.

3.  Speaking of, let's talk about the kids.  They're allowed to be scared, and a little foolish, but they're never stupid.  Tim's actually a really smart kid for his age, and as I just mentioned, Lex ends up saving pretty much everybody's asses.  Nobody in this movie is simply there to be recued.  The kids raise the stakes for Hammond and for Grant, and help complicate the danger because of their lack of knowledge, but they're afforded the opportunity to be actual characters.  I mean, poor Tim!  Tim survives a T-Rex attack, plummets fifty feet in a vehicle, gets electrocuted, and then gets chased by velociraptors.  Little kid's not getting off scot-free, here.

2. When Dr. Grant first gets into the helicopter that will be taking him to Isla Nublar, he realizes that he has matching ends of the same seatbelt, and can't buckle.  So, he knots them together around his waist.  Firstly, this is awesome because it's a tiny little character detail that shows us that Dr. Grant is resourceful, and will clearly be well-equipped to hold his own during the impending danger we all know is coming.  

Secondly, it's a cheeky little nod to the resourcefulness of life that Malcolm preached all movie long.  The dinosaurs in the park are all bred to be female so that they cannot reproduce.  Likewise, Grant's seatbelt consists of two female ends and cannot be buckled.  But in both cases, a solution to the problem is created, and that small little moment in the helicopter mirrors one of the film's main messages.  Genius.

1.  Every single storytelling reveal in Jurassic Park is done through reaction.  It's never, "A dinosaur!  LOOK THERE HE IS!"  Because that is two-dimensional and unsophisticated.  Instead, it's the sound of the rumbling footsteps as the water ripples back and forth in the cupholder.  It's wondering where the goat went and then seeing its bloody leg drop on the sunroof.  It's seeing Tim look at Lex frozen in place, spoonful of Jell-O wobbling in mid-air as she shakes with fear.  It's seeing Dr. Grant's reaction to laying eyes on a living, breathing dinosaur before we ever even see what he's looking at.

Basically, it's genius.  Because the unknown is scarier than the known, and parceling out the information a little at a time freaks us the hell out and makes us want to know more.  We see the footprint and hear the echo before we see what made it, and combined with character reactions, we get a full portrait of how we should be reacting, as an audience.

Ladies and gentlemen, this movie is flawless.  I rest my case - or at the very least, my endless gushing.

10 Things: Television Couples

Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day, no one!  And to those of you who don't actually watch 30 Rock, Happy Valentine's Day!  Instead of getting bitter and vitriolic about real-life love on this sugary sweet day, let's instead celebrate some of our favorite fictional couples, shall we?

So, without further ado, I give you my ten personal favorite Television Couples.

X. Alex and Haddie, Parenthood

Is this a little too new a pairing for me to give my love to?  Perhaps.  But hell if they are not a really adorable, sweet, honest young couple.  It's complicated because she's 16 and he's 19 and he's a recovering alcoholic but they want to be together so badly I can't help but love them.  I respect the show for touching on the fact that they are an interracial couple, but by no means does it direct their storylines.  I will pretty much root for them until the end.

IX. Buffy and Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Oh, the dysfunction of Buffy and Spike is paramount.  Some people prefer Buffy and Angel, but there is so much material in Buffy and Spike's relationship that I lean more towards them.  Even though they had their ups and downs, by the end of the series there was a true sense of solidarity and mutual understanding between them.  Seriously, that speech?  Oh, my wounded heart.

VIII. Brittany and Santana, Glee

Are they really a couple?  Not right now.  Do I care?  Not at all.  These two were designed to be their own little unit, and I love them for it.  The show's kind of gotten a little wander-y in their romantic development, but it's all there.  There is no Santana without Brittany, and no Brittany without Santana.  They both know that dolphins are just gay sharks.

VII. Sun and Jin, Lost

So there came a point on Lost when really all I cared about were a handful of the couples, all of which you will find on this list (sorry).  Sun and Jin started out as such a stereotypical representation of a Korean couple, and turned out to be the most loving, honest, heartbreaking relationship.  I won't spoil anything, but you know the moment in Season 6?  If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about.  Well, when I was watching that, I bawled like I have never bawled at anything fictional ever before.

VI. Eric and Donna, That 70s Show

It's been forever since I watched this series, and unfortunately it was affected a lot by many of its cast members prematurely left the show, but Eric and Donna remain as one of my favorite TV couples.  I mean, I cannot hate on any couple who sing and dance to ABBA in their driveway.  I just can't.

V. Chandler and Monica, Friends

I really just love that Chandler and Monica weren't a planned couple on the show (it was originally supposed to be Joey and Monica) and yet they turned out to be so perfect together.  They didn't have all the fanfare of Ross and Rachel, and I loved them so much more because of it.    

IV. Sawyer and Juliet, Lost

Sawyer and Juliet were so unexpected yet so lovely.  They were kind of thrown together amidst really crazy circumstances, and stood by one another through thick and thin.  A pairing of equals, he always had her back and she always had his.  Their reconnection in the Lost series finale is pretty much the only thing I truly loved about that episode - they have my heart completely.  

III. Jim and Pam, The Office

I defy anyone to watch the early seasons of The Office and just not absolutely fall in love with these two.  I really can't describe them in any way other than just... adorable.  Because of the show's documentary style, we only get to see a few Jim and Pam moments here and there, making them all the sweeter.  Watching their relationship progress from office flirtation to marriage and a baby has been one of the show's core appeals.

II. Desmond and Penny, Lost

Penny and Desmond have so little screentime together, and yet they functioned quite honestly as the beating heart of the show's later seasons.  They were separated for so long, by time, and distance, and disapproving families, and bad timing.  Wishing desperately for their reunion fueled many of the fan's interest when the storylines were spiraling into complication, mine included.  The scene at the end of "The Constant" remains perhaps the best the show ever put on our screens, and every single YouTube version has disabled embedding, so if you want to watch it, go here.

I.  Cory and Topanga, Boy Meets World

Okay, if you were born in the 80s and this isn't one of your favorite couples, then I daresay you've just never seen an episode.  True, the show sometimes strays into schmaltzy territory, but the fact of the matter is that this teenage relationship was treated with all the conflict and gravitas of any mature, adult relationship on any other show not part of ABC's TGIF lineup.  They endured moving away from one another, dealing with issues of both fidelity and commitment, questioning the nature of marriage, and learning how to be adults - together.  For that, I have the utmost respect for the relationship and how it was portrayed.  And also, I grew up with it.  I'm a little biased.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!  Instead of focusing on your real-life relationships - or lack thereof! - just watch the ones on TV.  They're better, anyways.

10 Things: Dance Appreciation

I have a confession to make: I hate dancing.  You may ask, how is this possible?!  I love musicals!  I love Heather Morris and Harry Shum and Katee Shean and Mia Michaels!  I love dance movies!  But before you jump down my throat, let me clarify: I do not like when I dance.

But watching others dance?  Oh my goodness, do I love it.  Like, athleticism-meets-grace-meets-amazing-choreography dance just blows my mind.  Hip-hop and contemporary are by far my favorite styles, but all dance is pretty amazing.  


So, to honor my love of (others) dancing, here's a 10 Things.  

X.  Beat Freakz - Okay, so this video is a compilation, but watch any of the first three.  They're all awesome.  Beat Freakz was the best all-female dance crew ABDC ever saw.  If they were up against anyone other than Quest Crew they would have won.

IX. Mia Michaels, "Will I?" - Oh, be still my beating heart.  Mia Michaels is a goddess.  Her sense of ensemble in this is amazing, and the movements are just so rich and heartbreaking.  It always makes me tear up.

VIII. Dancing with the Stars Tribute to Michael Jackson - Okay, okay.  It's kind of cheesy, but this tribute gives me goosebumps.  I want people to group dance when I die.

VII. Joshua Allen Solo - This boy's movements are insane.  A great popper, and he was crazy good at nearly every other style he tackled - even with minimal training.

VI. Wade Robson, "The Chairman's Waltz" - Beautiful.  The stories and characters are woven into every movement the two dancers make.  Just, breathtaking.

V.  Desmond Richardson and Dwight Rhoden, "Imagine" - Part of what makes this piece amazing is just the two dancers performing it.  They are so technically strong, and they handle the choreography with such grace, strength, and intensity.  Love it.

IV. Dmitry Chaplin, "Hip Hip Chin Chin" - The subject of tonight's lesson is rhythm.  The beat.  (Just watch it.  It's a sexy samba.)

III. Mia Michaels, "Gravity" - Heartwrenching piece about addiction.  Everything about this dance is perfect.  Each movement tells the story of an unhealthy relationship so perfectly. 

II. Lil' C, "Yellow" - Lil' C is primarily a hip-hop choreographer - he even pioneered the crazy technique of krumping - and yet, we have him to thank for this awesome pseudo-contemporary piece performed by the LXD.  The whole thing just blows my mind.  How do they move like that?!

I. Best of Hip-Hop, Quest Crew - You will be hard-pressed to find a better dance crew than Quest.  Their trip through the different hip-hop styles is so sophisticated in its choreography, down to every little detail.  One of the best hip-hop group dances out there.

There you have it!  Now, I am going to crank up some music, close every door and window to my house, and, erm... dance. 

10 Things: Glee Wishlist

Oof, this is late. But, as promised, I give you DR SHE BLOGGO's Glee Wishlist. Now, I've seen a lot of these things floating around and I'd like to stretch mine a little bit. I complain on a fairly regular basis about lack of screentime, issues with continuity, characterization failures, anti-feminism, and poor execution. So, I'm going to try and avoid those things in my Wishlist.

Instead, I offer you some other wishes that I don't blab about quite as often. Right on? Right on.

DR SHE BLOGGO's GLEE WISHLIST

I. Kevin McHale sings the Beatles' "Let it Be." I fail to see how this hasn't happened yet, frankly. Kevin auditioned with this song, and from the 15 seconds they gave us, I just want to cry with how damn pretty it is. We've already seen four other audition songs used in the show (Lea's, Amber's, Matt's, and Jayma's) - but not Kevin's. It is some consolation that he's started singing it live at charity events, but I'm greedy. I want a full, HQ, magical, lovely, beautiful Kevin-y version I can play endlessly into my ears. Please?

II. Brad Falchuk and Joss Whedon direct more episodes. Yes, Ryan Murphy got an Emmy for direction, but for my money, Falchuk and Whedon have demonstrated better skills with the show and its characters. Brad directed quite a bit in Season 1, yet has only directed one episode so far in Season 2 - "Audition" - and it was perhaps the best directed of the season. I want him directing again, and soon! And anytime we can get Joss around, I think the show improves by at least 50%. Just so long as he doesn't kill off any beloved characters.

III. Meet the Families! These kids are crazy, screwed-up, loveable, earnest, and damn talented. I want to see where they come from. ALL OF THEM. Not just Kurt, Finn, and Quinn - as much as I do love Burt, Carole, and the serious WASP-y dysfunction of Russell and Judy Fabray. I just want to also see Tina's parents, and Santana's home life, and Artie's mom who survived their car accident, and what kind of family Mercedes has that would let a kicked-out pregnant teenager live in their home. Everybody! Just think of the awesome casting opportunities! Furthermore, it is a CRIME that we haven't met Rachel's gay dads yet. A CRIME. Because any two people who join forces to create a Rachel Berry deserve to be known, in all their glory. Either show them, or make them the most epic offscreen parents of legendary proportions.

IV. Bring back Victor Garber. In an off-shoot of my third wish, I must specify my hope for Will's dad to come back. Remember how he was struggling with being a good father and the masculinity associated with courage? And how he decided to go back to law school well into his 50s? Well, it might be a good time to bring the Original Mr. Schuester back in the picture, considering how much of a sad lost soul his son is right now. Also, we had Victor Garber on Glee and didn't have him sing? Travesty!

V. Girl rap. The boys have gotten quite a bit of rap from the beginning, and yet the girls haven't gone much out of the Pop/Showtune genre (I am decidedly not counting Gwyneth Paltrow's turn at "F*** You"). Granted, there aren't many female rappers out there, but to me that's all the more reason to feature it on the show. Bring out a little Lauryn Hill, or Mary J. Blige, or Queen Latifah, or hey, how about that lady that's been on the show already - Eve! I would die for a little "Doo Wop (That Thing)" or "Just Fine" or "Ladies First." Or hell, have a girl do a men's rap song. I want to be floored by somebody's secret rapping skills - who would it be? Naya? Amber? Dianna? We can only hope.

VI. A viable storyline for Terri. It hurts my heart to see Jessalyn Gilsig's name in the credits every single week and NEVER SEE HER FACE AT ALL. Since Babygate, she has shown up in the most extraneous, repetitive, and underdeveloped ways, and it annoys me. Either use her well, or just cut her loose. You're wasting her talent, and pissing us all off. There's plenty of things you can do with Terri Schuester that don't involve her failed marriage and hysterical pregnancy. Please do them, show - and without villainizing her.

VII. Let's be friends! There are three consistent dynamics on Glee: rival, lover (potential, former, or current), or ignored. This fact is more apparent than ever, since the show's two tentpole friendships used to be Kurt/Mercedes and Brittany/Santana, and they hardly spend any time onscreen together now. Friendship fail! I want them back! And I also want them to shake it up! What happens when Tina and Santana interact? How about Mercedes and Artie? Brittany and Rachel? Quinn and Kurt? Kurt and Puck? Brittany and Finn? Quinn and Artie? Show me interesting duos! Not to mention, I will campaign for the revival of Rachel and Quinn's aborted friendship until the show leaves my television. Glee has missed the boat on some seriously awesome dynamics, and I want them to rectify that. In sum: friendships just need to be represented, and represented well.

VIII. I want the crazy acapella background music back! Like a big dork, that was one of the first things I loved about Glee - the dizzying "bum-bum-bum" choir voices acting as the show's score. (I know, I know; were my eyes open?) Where has it gone? Luckily, after a little research, I discovered you can listen on YouTube. It's genius, and I want it back.

IX. Birthdays. This is arguably the most insignificant of my wishes, but I'm listing it anyways. I seriously want to know all the characters' birthdays. All we know is that Rachel Berry's is December 18th. I want the rest! And a million extra points if their traits match the horoscope descriptions, too. I don't care if there's any actual iota of truth to zodiac signs; I find it endlessly fascinating. /nerdwish

X. Spread the Wealth. Perhaps the broadest, and most important wish of all. I want to love everybody. I want solos for everybody. I want interesting, meaningful relationships for everybody. I want compelling hardships and triumphs for everybody. I care about the Glee club as a whole and also in its individual parts. Don't screw with that. There's plenty of drama, comedy, storyline, and singing to go around. Ensemble should not be this difficult, guys. I know every actor on that show is damn talented. Now show me.

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There you have it! Agree, disagree, or whatnot - respectfully! And as always, thanks for reading.