Glee: The GQ Cover

Well, Glee fans, there's no new episode tonight, which means that we have to keep ourselves entertained another week without any new material. But luckily, the new issue of GQ features our favorite show, and scans hit the internet today. Behold:

Are you offended? I don't blame you. Are you turned on? I don't blame you. Are you wishing that Cory Monteith was in the same state of undress as Lea Michele and Dianna Agron? Again, I don't blame you.

And before I continue, I would really like to make it clear that I'm addressing these photos very much without any personal implications about Lea, Dianna, and Cory. I love all three actors dearly and am dealing with their participation in this much like they are props - they clearly were not responsible for the decisions made in this photospread and I don't endeavor to lay blame to any of them by my ranting in this piece. Okay? Okay. Onward!

Now, there are several things that strike me the wrong way about the photoshoot. Let's talk wardrobe: Lea Michele is not wearing pants in a single frame, and yet Cory Monteith is fully clothed - he gets to wear a letterman jacket. We see Dianna Agron's abs in every shot, yet the only amount of skin we get from Cory is face and hands.

Now let's talk props. Lea's main prop seems to be a rather sexually suggestive lollipop. Cory gets some fairly innocent-seeming drums. How about posing? Oh, that's Cory, fully clothed, with his hands on the asses of two scantily-clad women? Oh, that's Lea, legs spread open to camera? Oh, okay; cool. Just checking.

I'm not stupid; I understand why this is. GQ is a men's magazine. GQ wants men to buy their magazine. How else to accomplish this than putting a capable bro on the cover feeling up two twenty-something, half-naked ladies tailored in schoolgirl fetish? This is the male gaze at its strongest, and frankly, it's offensive.

I was going to take a lukewarm stand on this issue at first. I was going to waffle, and say, "Well, they're just trying to sell magazines, what are they supposed to do? It's an over-the-top concept, and they just decided commit 100% for artistic purposes."

But then I really thought about it, and I decided to let my feathers get ruffled. You know what? What we put on the covers of magazines, and on television, and on the internet? It MEANS something. It MEANS something to put those three young actors in that position on the cover of GQ. It's using the images of people I like and respect to perpetuate the objectification of women. It's offensive. And frankly, saying that it's selling more issues makes this offense even less excusable. Excuse me, gentlemen magazine readers? Stop thinking with your dick and flip through a magazine if you want to read an article. If you don't want to read an article and instead just want something to jerk off to, I suggest subscribing to Playboy. I guarantee that straight guys who picked up this magazine did not pick it up to read about a musical comedy television show. They picked up it to see if there were more fetishistic pictures of women, and were rewarded when they got the locker room photos of Lea Michele.

I understand that, with the fact that Glee is a high school show that tackles a lot of adult issues, we're going to get this dichotomy when it's represented in the media. Lea must roll her eyes every time she puts on thigh-high athletic socks and hikes up her skirt. The schoolgirl thing isn't new - Britney Spears tapped into it with "Baby One More Time," a decade ago and of course, Glee just covered the exact same ground a few weeks back.

But this isn't even the point. The point is that Cory Monteith got to wear pants and a jacket and Lea and Dianna were showing as much skin as possible. If we're going to over-sexualize things, where's the fair in that? Yes, I know it's a men's magazine, but will its readers really go into a gay panic if there's a sexualized picture of Cory Monteith? If Cory were wearing a similar amount of clothing as Lea and Dianna on the cover, it would at least level the score - even with his hands on their asses. As a lady, if I want to read this article and have to flip through offensive portrayals of the women that I personally respect, then I think that gentlemen readers can stomach one photo of Cory with his shirt off. Sex is a two-way street, gang.

Of course, beyond all the sexism inherent in this photospread, lies the tiniest hint of racism. There are currently eleven main cast members in the fictional Glee club. Which three were photographed for the cover? The three hottest, skinniest, and whitest. Yes, Lea and Cory portray the main characters. However, Dianna does not. She gets little screentime on the show, yet is publicized heavily because she's gorgeous and blonde and everybody, male and female alike, wants to do her. Jenna and Amber do not get nearly the same attention Lea and Dianna get, whether it be from magazines, or paparazzi, or even fans. On the one hand, I say it's a travesty! Jenna and Amber are just as beautiful, talented, and lovely as their co-stars and deserve their magazine covers. However, if the magazine covers are going to continue to look like the GQ one, then Jenna and Amber should probably just be grateful they're dodging the heavy objectification. One less thing to worry about.

My point, in all of this, is that all output of creativity involves choices. Decisions are made by creative people in charge, and the result of those decisions is what we see on our television, or on our newsstands. Someone in charge at GQ (multiple someones, I'd say) drew up the concept for this photoshoot and thought, "Great idea!" Someone selected the wardrobe, as little or as much of it as needed. Someone gave Lea Michele that lollipop. Someone placed Dianna Agron in front of that wall so that the red vector pointed straight to her ass. Someone probably said, "Be sexier!" or "Cory, hands lower!" at some point during the photoshoot. These were careful decisions made. This photoshoot didn't happen by accident.

And that, to me, is the truly unfortunate thing. Somebody planned all this, which means that the concepts it's reinforcing are still alive and well in the media, and in men's heads. And while I'm sure my beloved Cory, Lea, and Dianna didn't exactly do anything they hadn't signed up for, I still feel badly for them that they had to participate in this. Somewhere, you know that Chris Colfer, Jenna Ushkowitz and Amber Riley were like, "Phew! We dodged that bullet!"

Sometimes it truly does seem like we're spinning our wheels in getting the media to represent women in a more realistic and objective light. In the meantime, however, Lea Michele should probably expect more lollipops and knee socks.


Author's Note: there are follow-ups to this post here and here.

The RBI Report: "Duets"

A lot of Glee fans are always looking out for new episodes that remind them of "the good old days" - an episode akin to one of the first 13. To be honest, I really haven't felt like there has been such an episode since, with the possible exception of "Journey," and maybe, just maybe, "Audition."

That is, however, until last night. Let's do the RBI Report, shall we?

"Duets," written by Ian Brennan, directed by Eric Stoltz

Let's just take a moment to appreciate Ian Brennan here. This was the man that couldn't get through an episode without stating the theme at least a dozen times. And here he is, Season 2, going to bat twice with excellent episodes. I tip my hat to you, sir!

The thing about "Duets" is this: it was simple. It focused on the students only, and their duet assignment. In being able to rest on this fairly straightforward premise, the writers were given the opportunity to showcase a variety of characters and their developments without any -- dare I say it? -- distractions.

So we got character pairings every which way - Tina/Mike, Santana/Mercedes, Santana/Brittany, Artie/Brittany, Rachel/Finn, Sam/Quinn, Rachel/Kurt, Sam/Kurt, Sam/Finn, Rachel/Quinn, and Kurt/Burt. And I honestly found every duo's interaction interesting.

And to be even more honest, this is why I watch Glee. At the end of the day, I don't really care about Britney Spears or Madonna or Rocky Horror or John Stamos. I care about those damn Glee kids, and I want to see them interacting with each other in meaningful ways. It's lovely to be socially aware and focus on sensitive topics like homophobia and disabilities, but that's not why I watch the show. That's a bonus. And watching the show stumble while trying too hard to hoist those colors is frustrating.

Frankly, that social commentary can be incorporated naturally - look at "Duets." We got a glimpse into how difficult dating and romance can be for a gay teenager - hell, even bisexual teenagers. Kurt's drama with Sam and Finn combined with the developments in Santana and Brittany's relationship didn't hammer any message into anyone's heads but certainly got the point across. Not only that, but Artie's paralysis was sensitively touched upon after he lost his virginity to Brittany.

On that note, I must turn the attention from Ian Brennan to Eric Stoltz. The directing in this episode was fantastic. A lot of the character moments probably weren't written in the script, like Brittany walking by Artie in the end and looking wistful. He directed mindfully and simply, even just by using a lot reaction shots that kept us engaged with each character's emotional arc throughout the episode. He forgot no one! It was consistent, and lovely. Come back soon, Mr. Stoltz.

Not only did the episode do justice to every character and every pairing, it even referenced previous interactions that they may have already had - imagine that! Addressing the Kurt/Finn drama was a much-needed development, no matter how awkward. I'm glad they didn't balk away from that. Moreover, I was surprised with the depth they gave the Artie/Brittany interaction. His breakup scene with her was reminiscent of when he lashed out at Tina over her fake stutter, and my heart broke for both him and for Brittany, who seemed to genuinely like him. I would honestly like it if this interaction were continued in another episode, although I doubt that it will. Glee likes their one-off crack pairings too much. (Hey, Puck and Mercedes!)

My only quibble (and you know you're not at SHE BLOGGO if there's no quibbling) was with Rachel. YES, I like that she seems to be doing nice things for other people again. But I resent the implication that Finn is "inspiring" her to be this better person. She did plenty of nice things for other people before she started dating Finn. That's why I loved Rachel Berry in the first thirteen episodes - she was neurotic and self-obsessed, but beneath that was a lovely vulnerability, and a good person, when calmed down. Telling Kurt he was not alone was so very reminiscent of Rachel telling Quinn the Glee Club would support her through her pregnancy. The idea that Finn is "inspiring" her to be a better person does a gross disservice to her character. I would much rather have had Rachel throw the competition to atone for what she did to Sunshine in "Audition" by making Sam feel welcome.

However, on the whole, this episode was the best of the season and a reminder of why I stick with the show. I just want to see these characters interact, with screentime and solos for all. "Duets" was as if I had died and gone to Glee heaven.

(I knew I hadn't. If I'd gone to Glee heaven, I'm pretty sure it would have involved Kevin McHale serenading me, face hugs with Lea Michele, photo sharing with Dianna Agron, and witty banter with Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith.)

Terrible Taglines

Last night, I saw "Wall Street 2." Now, I'm not going to review the movie as a whole, but I do want to address the subtitle: "Money never sleeps."

What a terrible tagline. I know that the phrase is used in the first movie, but it makes absolutely no sense, in general, nor when applied to the second movie.

There is absolutely nothing indicative about "money never sleeps." What is the audience supposed to understand from that? I just don't get it. Sure, it's interesting to apply a humanistic verb to money, but "sleeping" is really not the best one. How about: "Money keeps no promises," "Money makes no friends," or "Money never lies," for example? At least give us something that connects to the actual plot of the movie, please.

I keep seeing previews on TV for a movie-of-the-week called "The 19th Wife." Its tagline? "Polygamy can be murder."

What the hell kind of tagline is that? There is no way that polygamy, in general, can be murder. A tagline is supposed to reveal insight about the plot of the movie in a concise, and sometimes witty, way. There is no clever insight in "polygamy can be murder." It tells us that there is polygamy, and there is murder. You can't just synthesize the two concepts by putting them in the same sentence with some sort of the verb "to be." Lazy writing, guys.

A good tagline? Let's examine "Easy A" - "Let's not and say we did." Cue round of applause! They took a conventional phrase and shed new light on it by framing it within the concept of the movie - that a teenager says she's slept with a slew of classmates, when in reality she hasn't.

And, while "You Again" is certainly no filmic masterpiece, its tagline makes me laugh: "What doesn't kill you... is going to marry your brother." Kudos, I must say.

A Quick 10 Things

I know I've exhausted the "10 Glee Songs" topic, but I can't resist doing another. I've been listening to Glee almost exclusively today and it occurred to me that I play favorites. I hardly ever skip these songs, and almost always sing along, yet they don't really ever get a lot of attention elsewhere.

So, FYI, here are my Top 10 Glee Songs that don't get mentioned often but that are damn good and will always have a little corner of my heart.

10. Push It - original Glee kids
LOL-worthy, yet SO catchy. Kevin's "only the sexy people" bit is enough to make me put this on endless loop.

9. True Colors - Jenna Ushkowitz
I always take this song for granted, but whenever it crops up in shuffle, I turn it up and sing along. Simple and beautiful.

8. Good Vibrations - Mark Salling, Cory Monteith, Amber Riley
It makes me giggle. And rapping along is fun. Don't judge.

7. Home - Kristin Chenoweth
This song is a beautiful song to begin with, and Cheno does it much justice.

6. Take a Bow - Lea Michele
This song was the moment the show "had me." I'm sure I'll blog about it in full at some point.

5. It's a Man's Man's Man's World - Dianna Agron
Angry Quinn! Finally Dianna Agron gets a solo that suits her voice.

4. I Wanna Sex You Up - the Acafellas
Mm, drool. Boys singing.

3. Funny Girl - Idina Menzel
Idina pwns this song. That is all.

2. Fire - Matthew Morrison and Kristin Chenoweth
SO much fun to sing to. Love it immensely.

1. Dream a Little Dream of Me - Kevin McHale
It's my #1 most played Glee song, guys. It's doing something right.

EDIT: Aw crap, I forgot "A House is Not a Home" by Chris Colfer. I could listen to that on repeat, all day long.

"The Next Three Days" - A Lady's Perspective

A week or so ago, I sat in the movie theater and watched, for the first time, the trailer for upcoming film "The Next Three Days." Behold:

I was excited! The first 40 seconds of the trailer indicates to us that this movie is about a wife and mother (Elizabeth Banks) who goes to jail for a crime she may or may not have committed. Cool, right? I thought, "What an interesting role for Elizabeth Banks! I'm intrigued!"

Then, as the trailer wore on, I realized that this movie is not her story. It's Russell Crowe's story, her husband's story - the story of the man who works tirelessly to spring her from the clink.

Now, I'm not going to say that the movie won't be good in this incarnation, but I will definitely admit to feeling a twinge of disappointment at the notion that it wasn't actually an action/thriller/suspense movie with an ambiguously moral female lead. Because that could have been interesting, especially in the hands of an actress who hasn't quite had a breakout lead role on the big screen.

But no, the story seems to be about a loyal family man who needs to nut up and bust his maybe-guilty wife out of jail. He is the active character in the plot, she, the passive - what is her character going to do? She's literally imprisoned. She is the cause for the story, but he is the one that carries out the decisions and propels the plot. She is the one that already is, he is the one that has to become. Sigh.

What's worse is this character is played by Russell Crowe, who is already an established lead actor, and, between this and that Robin Hood reboot with Cate Blanchett, seems to be recycling character types. I'm not saying it'll be uninteresting, just... less interesting.

Although I will reward endless more points to this film if the response to "Show me where the bullets go," is "in the motherfucker's body." Or something comparably badass.

The RBI Report: "Grilled Cheesus"

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for me to quit stalling and post the RBI Report for "Grilled Cheesus." You see, I originally had intended on skipping it. I did not want to touch the episode with a 10-foot pole, largely because I hadn't made up my mind about it, and unlike Ryan Murphy, I know better than to try and discuss religion in a public forum.

But then my BFF over at Picaresque posted her thoughts on the episode, and in reading them, it finally got me to sort out what mine are. I recommend you read her post for an intelligent take on how atheism was portrayed (somewhat unfairly) in the episode. I, however, am going to stick to the usual idea behind The RBI Report - focus on the writing and direction.

Of course, this being "THE RELIGION EPISODE," I can't avoid discussing religion entirely. But here we go.

"Grilled Cheesus," written by Brad Falchuk, directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon

Surprise! This episode was written by Brad Falchuk! I won't lie; I thought this had Ryan Murphy written all over it. But it seems we have to chalk this one up to Mr. Falchuk, and I honestly would rank it as his worst episode yet. This is the man that wrote FIVE of the top six in SHE BLOGGO'S Best Season 1 Episodes. So yeah; back of the line, "Cheesus."

I do wonder if the episode would have been better if it had been directed by Falchuk as well. Alfonso Gomez-Rejon has only ever directed two episodes of television, according to his IMDb page - this, and Season 1's "Laryngitis." Nothing felt terribly inspired about the directing. I thought the scene where Burt collapses was written well, but directed poorly - I didn't feel terror at what was happening. It was cheesy. They used cross-fades, guys. It was not okay.

The main problems with the episode, as I see it, derive from the fact that they set themselves up for failure. You wanna try and tackle religion on a network television comedy musical? Be my guest. But you better be damn sure you do it right. And of course, Glee didn't.

Problem #1: They were asking for trouble when they put Burt in a coma for this one. It's one thing to discuss religion in normal circumstances; it's another entirely when someone is in the hospital. Humanity's relationship with death is largely a spiritual one because no one knows what the hell comes next. So we turn to religion, or spirituality, whichever, and it gives us the answers we want to hear. By putting a character we love in a life-or-death situation, the writers immediately color the episode. The atheist who chooses not to pray in general could be respected for his decisions. The atheist who chooses not to pray when his father could be dying just looks like a jerk.

The episode's interesting parts came from Sue. She raised a valid point about church and state, and the discussion there was believable and topical. Had the episode centered around choosing to sing religious songs in Glee Club, I think the topic of religion could have been handled in a much more neutral light. Would everyone have cried as much? Probably not. But would there be a hell of a lot fewer pissed-off people? Yes. Would the episode have been better? It's hard to say.

Personally, I am not a particularly religious person. I wasn't raised to follow any sort of religious belief, just my own moral compass. This is not to say, however, that I don't get goosebumps when I hear a choir sing "There Is a Balm In Gilead." Gospel music is gorgeous. Do I think it should be used to shove religion down someone's throat? No. But I appreciate the hell out of it, musically. Mercedes' version of "I Look To You" is beautiful. I wish the episode had chosen to focus on the delineation between religious music and religious belief, and even performing religious music objectively in school. There's enough controversy right there, and it's more suited to Glee's natural inclinations.

Problem #2: When you set up the characters' journeys in any story, you have to get them from Point A to Point B. But in an episode dealing with different characters' religious beliefs, what's Point B? Are you supposed to get Kurt from atheism to believing, or Mercedes from believing to atheism? You absolutely cannot do that without inciting rage from 50% of your audience. So what's the message, then? Hope? Believe in what you want? Don't worship a grilled cheese sandwich? The problem with a religion episode is that everybody is just going to see what they want to see to support their own previously-held beliefs. So as the writer of the episode, what are you trying to tell people? You have to try and develop a character without changing their beliefs, which makes it incredibly difficult to sculpt a good character arc.

Problem #3: Ah, Grilled Cheesus. I see why the sandwich deity was included in the episode, but it caused problems for me. Actually, Problem #3 wouldn't be a problem if Problem #1 weren't also a problem. That is to say, I wouldn't have a problem with Grilled Cheesus if Burt weren't in the hospital. I could not for the life of me care one iota about Finn touching Rachel's boobs when Kurt's dad's life hung in the balance. I get that it was there to lighten the mood, but it was too stark a contrast for me not to roll my eyes at.

There you have it. I give you a Holy Trinity of Problems for "Grilled Cheesus." Is that sacrilegious? I'm not sure I care. I'm just going to crawl back in my religious happy place, chanting "live and let live."

And I still wish Quinn had turned out to be the atheist of the group. Interesting and unexpected character development for Quinn, complete with a storyline and maybe a solo? Surely you jest.

The Best News You'll Hear All Day

SNL is going to air a 2-hour tribute to its female cast members on November 1st. In addition to old clips and sketches, expect new material from Rachel Dratch, Nora Dunn, Tina Fey, Ana Gasteyer, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Laraine Newman, Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Molly Shannon, and Kristen Wiig.

I'm just gonna go ahead and set my DVR now, as soon as I get done with this five minute dance party to celebrate this joyous news.

I refuse to have any expectations for this special other than it being TOTALLY AWESOME. That's not unrealistic, right? But all joking aside, it's nice to see these ladies be so willing to return to their old stomping grounds together. I'm fairly certain it's going to be overwhelmingly funny to have them all in the same room together. November 1st can't get here fast enough.

When Awesomes Collide

Any celebrity who does Sesame Street is instantly 100x more likeable. This puts Amy Poehler's likeability off the charts.

Glee: Character Approval Ratings

What I've noticed this season on Glee is that my favorite characters are shifting a bit. It makes me a bit angry, usually, but I decided to just compartmentalize that and instead make a graph out of it!

Behold, the Glee Character Approval Ratings, as detailed by DR SHE BLOGGO.



Now, I'm not a scientist. My value system is entirely subjective, and the graph is best looked at in the big picture. But look, in the first three episodes: Quinn, Brittany, Santana, and Kurt are on their way up! Rachel, Will, and Finn are tanking. Everyone else is somewhere in the middle, waiting to break out.

Agree? Disagree? I hope to get a new graph up every few episodes to chart the characters. For the record, I judge using mostly character continuity and likeability, but also a little bit with the songs and how the character is portrayed.

The RBI Report: "Brittany/Britney"

I'm back, Internet! My hiatus forced me to watch both "Brittany/Britney" AND "Grilled Cheesus" after they aired, so bear with me as I try to get the SHE BLOGGO schedule back on track. First things first: the RBI Report for the Britney Spears Episode!

"Brittany/Britney" (written and directed by Ryan Murphy)

This one has Ryan Murphy's fingerprints all over it. Banner episode, good music numbers, and contrived storylines abounding - classic Ryan! I won't lie, there was a touch of lingering disappointment in the air when I finished watching this episode.

What frustrates me with Ryan's episodes is that when he works backwards from a desired effect, he goes about it in a way that makes no sense whatsoever. This is how I always feel manipulated when I cry at the payoffs - the shoddy setup always makes me feel like it was unearned. Yes, Rachel's rendition of "The Only Exception" was beautiful, but did it make me like Rachel and Finn as a couple? No, because the conflict that got them to that point was ridiculous. They don't seem all that happy together, and I find their carousel of fabricated drama tiring. The truth of the matter is that Ryan wanted an excuse to make Rachel Berry dress like the "sexy schoolgirl" for "Baby One More Time," and forced the conflict by having Finn criticize her dress. In doing so, he completely desecrated the "sad clown hooker" scene from "Hairography" which is actually really touching. Not only that, but there have been a few Rachel outfits that already border on sexy schoolgirl, so why the stretch?
The same goes for Will's storyline. In what universe has Will Schuester ever been uptight? He started a boy band, for Pete's sake. He shakes his ass in the faces of his students. He made out with Shelby Corcoran after having known her for thirty seconds. The man is not uptight. Yet in order to make Britney Spears music "work," Ryan tried to build the whole episode on this shaky assumption. What's frustrating is there could have been a million other believable reasons why Schuester got his panties in a twist over Britney. We were willing to believe that Carl would deliver anesthesia for simple teeth cleanings, so I have to imagine we'd go along for the ride on other counts that don't sacrifice character consistency. This is a musical comedy. There are no rules when it comes to reality in a musical. However, it's still a scripted television show, and there are rules when it comes to character development. (I'm not even going to go near how much of an ass Will was to Carl in this episode. They're really tanking his likeability.)

My worry about Ryan's episodes is that they perhaps are microcosms of the show itself. He puts forth this huge novelty, and we forgive him for the missteps because of the incredible concept. They usually come in the form of a positive message, a mind-blowing musical number, or an ode to an artist, and are amazing enough to make us forget the little things. Which is why I'm writing this RBI Report with a twinge of guilt for ragging on the episode so much.

Of course, this duality of Ryan Murphy does mean there also are an abundance of positives about the episode. I loved the choice to strip down "Toxic," and only wish we got to see more of it during the episode. Frankly, I was surprised and elated by the scene with Finn, Quinn, and Rachel at the end. Kudos for side-stepping an actual seduction (because, eyeroll) and developing the intriguing Rachel/Quinn dynamic that they dropped in the Back 9. Well done, all around.

The writing for Santana and Brittany in this episode was spot-on (is it just me or are Naya Rivera's line deliveries severely underrated?) and I almost wish they had gotten a storyline in the foreground instead of Will and Emma. The Britney cameos were well-done, and distributed appropriately, and on the whole, I thought the episode treated Britney and her place in music history realistically and respectfully. Artie singing "Stronger" was also a pleasant surprise.

My brain hurts too much to write a conclusion for this. I'll just say this: when I rewatch "Brittany/Britney" in future, I'll probably watch the musical numbers, the classroom scenes, and the Finn/Quinn/Rachel scene. And I'll be happy in that little Britney bubble.