This was difficult. I tried not to skew too Sue or Brittany, but frankly, it's hard. Credit where credit is due, people!
Oh, Bambi. I cried so hard when the hunters shot your mommy.
- Kurt (Vitamin D)
Every time I try to destroy that club, it comes back stronger than some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain.
- Sue (Vitamin D)
My mom won't even let me watch Twilight. She says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.
- Tina (Theatricality)
When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.
- Brittany (The Power of Madonna)
We're planning on smacking them down like the hand of God.
- Artie (Vitamin D)
Oh, hey William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair.
- Sue (The Power of Madonna)
Get ready, Black-Girl-from-Glee-Club-whose-name-I-can't-remember-right-now. The Puckster is about to make you his.
- Puck (Laryngitis)
Your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist, animated Disney cha
- Sue (Journey)
I don't think any one decision makes your life. Unless you invent some sort of zombie virus or something.
- Finn (Mash-Up)
So you like show tunes. It doesn't mean you're gay. It just means you're awful.
- Sue (Laryngitis)
That's what they said about a young man in Chicago in 1871, who thought he'd play a harmless prank on a dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and the city burned, William. And that gay terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.
- Sue (Funk)
Bake sales are kind of bougie.
- Santana (Wheels)
I'm like Tinkerbell, Finn. I need applause to live!
- Rachel (Laryngitis)
Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?
- Brittany (Hell-O)
I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.
- Sue (Mash-Up)