Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's Britney, Bitch: What Glee Should Cover

In case you hadn't heard (aka, you've been living under a rock), Glee is doing a Britney Spears episode. This is something that has been talked about for months and months, and I won't lie, when it first flew through the gossip mill I scoffed a bit. Britney Spears? Really? Like her contributions to the music industry are worth a whole tribute episode?

But, as time has worn on, so has my resistance to this concept, and I am unashamed to admit that I am getting stupidly excited to see the episode. I mean, regardless of Britney Spears' musical talent, her place in music history is pretty much inarguable, for better or worse. She's had good songs, bad songs, good times, bald times. I'm not gonna hate.

So, in accepting the existence of this homage to Ms. Spears, I started sorting out her discography in my head to see which songs I would like to see on Glee and which Ryan Murphy should stay far, far away from.

1. Toxic. Perhaps the most-preferred Britney song to non-Britney fans. Win!
2. Me Against the Music. Catchy, plus it's a duet!
3. Stronger. Bonus points if sung by Quinn.
4. ...Baby One More Time. It's not my favorite, but it's her breakout song. It can be there. *sigh*
5. Gimme More. This could be paired with some excellent dancing, and would be awesome if it was a group number.
6. Womanizer. Who better to sing about than Puck?
7. Everytime. The ONLY ballad that I would allow them to do. Because if Lea Michele or Amber Riley sang it, I think it'd actually be a strong song.
8. You Drive Me Crazy. Harmless late '90s fun. Allowed.

1. Lucky. I swear to God, if Glee goes near this song, I might have to stab something.
2. Oops! ... I Did it Again. This song is insipid. Didn't like it when it first came out, and now it's honestly just laughable. "But I thought that old lady threw it into the ocean at the end!"
3. I'm a Slave 4 U. I have a hard time embracing songs that replace actual words with numbers and letters. (Kelly Clarkson songs get a free pass.)
4. I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman. JUST NO.
5. Sometimes. I forgot this one existed, and I think it can stay that way.
6. Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know. Ballads really weren't her strong point, anyways.


  1. Two things:

    1. Extra golden superawesomedelicious bonus points if Brittana sing "Me Against the Music" AND THEN HAVE THEIR DEBUT KISS PLZ RYAN MURPHY PLZ

    2. I associate "Sometimes" very, very strongly with STAR WARS. Like, I hear it and images of Han and Leia on Cloud City pop into my mind. Presumably this is because the song came out during the height of my SW obsession, BUT it might be my subconscious telling me that Britney had Han and Leia's love in mind when she wrote the song. I mean, Leia is a bit standoffish at first. BUT ALL SHE REALLY WANTS IS TO HOLD HAN TIGHT.

  2. 1. Brittana better straight up get a duet in this episode, that much is for sure. If it's not "Me Against the Music" (did Britney and Madonna kiss in that video?) it better be "Gimme More." Although I'm nervous about a Brittana kiss. Ryan Murphy could easily screw it up.

    2. This paragraph made me die laughing. I like to think Britney Spears draws a lot of influence from Star Wars. It was probably "I'm a Slave I 4 U" first and "Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know" was is about Luke pleading with Obi-Wan to tell him the truth about him and Leia. :D


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